THE NATURE OF DATING ADVICE
Dating advice is often given by the most well-meaning of people. Unfortunately they are often the least qualified people to give it. How many times have mothers mentioned that there are "plenty more fish in the sea”, when we announce our partner has finished the relationship. Most advice we receive is well meaning but also unhelpful. This is primarily because when we need advice the most if is usually from the wrong sources. When we need to talk, our friends just want us to get "better", be more positive etc.
The best dating advice often seems to come from people who have been in the same situations as ourselves and have gained some comforting wisdom that we can equate to. The more we understand and agree with what is being said, the more common and shared the experience the more it is something we will choose to take in. The problem when seeing dating advice is that there are not too many places to turn. Sure there is Relate for marriage counselling and there are professional agencies and "experts" to help those of us who are getting divorced, but there is almost nothing to help us when we do what everyone does - date.
I personally feel that the best dating advice available to us is from single people, those of us who are at the sharp end of the dating equation. When you are trying to find someone to take to dinner, or accompany you to a function, when you have weekend after weekend to fill and yearn to spend time in stimulating company then it is to single people that you must look for inspiration.
Strangely we seek out those who are in couples for support in times of crisis, perhaps because they have "made it", they are where we want to be, so we trust their judgment. But what brought them together is not necessarily of help to you. And believe me, people in relationships soon forget what it was like to be single. I have heard some of the most useless dating advice of all from couples so I recommend that if you are currently single and playing the dating game, compare notes with like minded people. Couples will drive you crazy and remind you too often how smugly nice it is to be happy.
When dating, the thing we should always remember is that advice is simply what someone else thinks might assist you. The person giving this advice may not necessarily have any idea of your true state of mind of your particular circumstances. How can someone know what you should say or what you should so, or where you should meet apart from the usual practical ideas. But then there is an equally and opposite forceful argument.
Your friends who are not dating are often able to see things from distance that you sometimes cannot. One good example of this was when I was in a two year relationship with a particularly nasty person and I was continually advised to run away as fast as I could. I was being used and abused and chose not to see it. I ignored the advice that may have saved me. Friends may be single and not currently dating. They may have just been through the dating treadmill and are full of good ideas. Therefore whilst we can discount the happy couple's advice, don't cut off the advice of friends fully.
Trust your own instincts and trust your judgment. Once you are in a relationship you will need all the judgment skills you can muster anyway. Personally though, I get tired of people working out set formulas about how we date. I get tired of lifestyle gurus who often have no idea what they are talking about. To some, dishing out the same old dating advice and garbage is a way of making a living. The fact is, if you are out there calling people, meeting for lunch dates or evening dinners. If you are making calls and waiting for your phone to ring, if you are having plenty of ups and downs then you are as much a dating expert as anyone and have as much right to your views on the dating scene as anyone. That is why I like to hear about single people's experiences.
Dating advice is not a fixed theorem with a fixed set of answers. Dating advice is varied, unique and individual and comes from the heart.
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Sunday, 29 April 2007
Saturday, 28 April 2007
PHYSICAL ATTRACTION
Don't be fooled by yourself or kind hearted friends. Looks matter in the dating game and never more so than in the media-savvy world we live in today. It may be unfair, we may hate it, but it is true. Image is king and speaks volumes about who we are. From the clothes we wear to the places we eat and drink to the places we decide to inhabit, people notice what we do and make judgments as to who we are by how we look.
The very first facet of our self-image is our presentation to others and this is initially portrayed through the way we look. Now I think it's fair to say that most people don't have a fabulous self image. We all know people who love themselves but generally, though we may like ourselves, we don't love everything about us. We may not like our noise, the shape of our face, our hair, and the way we get a wrinkle around the eye. Maybe our bum is too big or we could do with losing some weight. But whatever it is, there will always be something that could be bettered. Just look at the way people who have had a lot of cosmetic surgery still manage to complain. Well I am sorry, but perfection is somewhat elusive.
The basis of any courtship, date or relationship is basic physical attraction. If you are not attracted to someone and they are not attracted to you, you have just become friends. Whatever happens afterwards, it is likely to stay that way. You both must be physically attracted on some level to make things work. Yes, spiritual attraction, deep respect and friendship all do play a part in the longer term but in the first few minutes of meeting we instantly recognize whether there is an attraction and chemistry present between us.
These basic signals dilate pupils, redden the skin, wet the lips and arouse base human instincts. That desire is to lead to the wish to have sex. The issue is that these signals are being eroded by well-meaning campaigners who say that looks should not matter. I am not really very good looking in my own opinion but I do know what I look like. And I do know who and what I am attracted to. I am sometimes called shallow because I go for a certain look for my dates. But the point is that these looks are what I find attractive and I tend to go for people who go for my kind of looks, thus increasing the chance of dating success.
Initial dates are all about looks, about who and what we find attractive and we are foolish if we try and suppress these desires. If you like someone's hair, eyes, lips, and the way they play with their fingers, the way they hold a glass or the way they walk then this is all on purpose. It is all part of the grander plan of matching like with like. By matching couples who are physically attracted, it is nature's way of pairing off. And for the most part it works well. The issue arises where we have trouble finding people who find us attractive.
The first thing that springs to mind is that where physically appealing looks are lacking, so people tend to make up with personality. Some of the sexiest people I have ever met are not physically attractive but they are immensely funny. Comedians are often not the best looking people you have met but are very attractive. This in some way comes from their inner confidence and stage presence. It is often said that men who are not too tall exude character and personality to make up for it. Again this may be true.
The key thing though is that we must not underplay the reality that looks are important when dating. We should try to understand what kind of looks we really are attracted to and what kind of people we appeal to. We should understand how we look to others. If we are unhappy with the way we look then we should take necessary steps to look the best we can. That is not for others but purely for us. In turn this will increase confidence levels and help make us more attractive. People will often say that one should not care about what is outside but what is inside that matter. It’s true. That is the way the world should be. But it isn't. That kind of comment comes from those who are secretly worried about the way they look.
Conversely people often say that for them, looks don't matter. That is not true either. Looks never matter when you already like the look of someone and find them acceptably attractive. Looks only matter when you are not attracted to someone physically. When you are seriously not attracted, then the looks of the other party become an issue even if you won't admit it. By generally meeting people who are attractive to you, you will eventually believe that on a conscious level you don't acknowledge looks. It is true that your view on physical attractiveness changes as you get older and as you mature in outlook. A man of 50 may not be attractive to a girl of 20 but may be very attractive to a woman of 40. Then again a woman of 45 can be very attractive to a man of 30. It all depends.
Our lives and the way we have developed in connection with life-experiences govern to some degree what and who attracts us. Personally, I like long straight blonde hair, but it is as much related to my teenage likings for the blonde singer of Fleetwood Mac or Agnetha from Abba as it is for any other reason. So there may be a link to what we find attractive on an emotional as well as physical level due to the early connections we make.
In modern society, we can all look good and we can look healthy. It is possible to buy image from the local store and we are sophisticated presenters of image through our exposure to the media. But in the end we are in danger of losing a connection to the most basic of instincts, physical match. We can pretend that men and women who seek physical perfection are shallow and outdated, but they are only following their basic instincts. We can disguise and we can pretend and we can plead for others to look at our inner selves first and we can spend months chatting on an Internet dating site to show how nice we are. However in a two minute meeting face to face, we both know whether it will work or not.
Physical matching is not about physical perfection, it is about compatibility. If you are not feeling truly good about yourself when you are about to begin dating then take some time out to take an inventory of yourself and then set about changing a few things. Remember that everything you do in life affecting your appearance should primarily be for yourself but at the same time if you are serious about dating successfully you really should think very seriously about how you look to others. As I have said previously, you may be searching for your perfect partner, but to find them you may well have to try and present yourself as their ideal mate too.
Finally consider this. A survey recently asked what attribute people most associated with being poor and unsuccessful. The top answer was being overweight and the second was smoking.
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Don't be fooled by yourself or kind hearted friends. Looks matter in the dating game and never more so than in the media-savvy world we live in today. It may be unfair, we may hate it, but it is true. Image is king and speaks volumes about who we are. From the clothes we wear to the places we eat and drink to the places we decide to inhabit, people notice what we do and make judgments as to who we are by how we look.
The very first facet of our self-image is our presentation to others and this is initially portrayed through the way we look. Now I think it's fair to say that most people don't have a fabulous self image. We all know people who love themselves but generally, though we may like ourselves, we don't love everything about us. We may not like our noise, the shape of our face, our hair, and the way we get a wrinkle around the eye. Maybe our bum is too big or we could do with losing some weight. But whatever it is, there will always be something that could be bettered. Just look at the way people who have had a lot of cosmetic surgery still manage to complain. Well I am sorry, but perfection is somewhat elusive.
The basis of any courtship, date or relationship is basic physical attraction. If you are not attracted to someone and they are not attracted to you, you have just become friends. Whatever happens afterwards, it is likely to stay that way. You both must be physically attracted on some level to make things work. Yes, spiritual attraction, deep respect and friendship all do play a part in the longer term but in the first few minutes of meeting we instantly recognize whether there is an attraction and chemistry present between us.
These basic signals dilate pupils, redden the skin, wet the lips and arouse base human instincts. That desire is to lead to the wish to have sex. The issue is that these signals are being eroded by well-meaning campaigners who say that looks should not matter. I am not really very good looking in my own opinion but I do know what I look like. And I do know who and what I am attracted to. I am sometimes called shallow because I go for a certain look for my dates. But the point is that these looks are what I find attractive and I tend to go for people who go for my kind of looks, thus increasing the chance of dating success.
Initial dates are all about looks, about who and what we find attractive and we are foolish if we try and suppress these desires. If you like someone's hair, eyes, lips, and the way they play with their fingers, the way they hold a glass or the way they walk then this is all on purpose. It is all part of the grander plan of matching like with like. By matching couples who are physically attracted, it is nature's way of pairing off. And for the most part it works well. The issue arises where we have trouble finding people who find us attractive.
The first thing that springs to mind is that where physically appealing looks are lacking, so people tend to make up with personality. Some of the sexiest people I have ever met are not physically attractive but they are immensely funny. Comedians are often not the best looking people you have met but are very attractive. This in some way comes from their inner confidence and stage presence. It is often said that men who are not too tall exude character and personality to make up for it. Again this may be true.
The key thing though is that we must not underplay the reality that looks are important when dating. We should try to understand what kind of looks we really are attracted to and what kind of people we appeal to. We should understand how we look to others. If we are unhappy with the way we look then we should take necessary steps to look the best we can. That is not for others but purely for us. In turn this will increase confidence levels and help make us more attractive. People will often say that one should not care about what is outside but what is inside that matter. It’s true. That is the way the world should be. But it isn't. That kind of comment comes from those who are secretly worried about the way they look.
Conversely people often say that for them, looks don't matter. That is not true either. Looks never matter when you already like the look of someone and find them acceptably attractive. Looks only matter when you are not attracted to someone physically. When you are seriously not attracted, then the looks of the other party become an issue even if you won't admit it. By generally meeting people who are attractive to you, you will eventually believe that on a conscious level you don't acknowledge looks. It is true that your view on physical attractiveness changes as you get older and as you mature in outlook. A man of 50 may not be attractive to a girl of 20 but may be very attractive to a woman of 40. Then again a woman of 45 can be very attractive to a man of 30. It all depends.
Our lives and the way we have developed in connection with life-experiences govern to some degree what and who attracts us. Personally, I like long straight blonde hair, but it is as much related to my teenage likings for the blonde singer of Fleetwood Mac or Agnetha from Abba as it is for any other reason. So there may be a link to what we find attractive on an emotional as well as physical level due to the early connections we make.
In modern society, we can all look good and we can look healthy. It is possible to buy image from the local store and we are sophisticated presenters of image through our exposure to the media. But in the end we are in danger of losing a connection to the most basic of instincts, physical match. We can pretend that men and women who seek physical perfection are shallow and outdated, but they are only following their basic instincts. We can disguise and we can pretend and we can plead for others to look at our inner selves first and we can spend months chatting on an Internet dating site to show how nice we are. However in a two minute meeting face to face, we both know whether it will work or not.
Physical matching is not about physical perfection, it is about compatibility. If you are not feeling truly good about yourself when you are about to begin dating then take some time out to take an inventory of yourself and then set about changing a few things. Remember that everything you do in life affecting your appearance should primarily be for yourself but at the same time if you are serious about dating successfully you really should think very seriously about how you look to others. As I have said previously, you may be searching for your perfect partner, but to find them you may well have to try and present yourself as their ideal mate too.
Finally consider this. A survey recently asked what attribute people most associated with being poor and unsuccessful. The top answer was being overweight and the second was smoking.
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Thursday, 26 April 2007
OUR DATING REGRETS
I decided to take a survey of good friends and find out what kind of regrets people had when dating. Regrets took on many different forms in their varied answers but I thought it was interesting to ask because it often highlights dating issues we often forget to mention. As with many of my surveys, the results are haphazard but are useful in pointing out that we are not alone in the mistakes that occur in our dating lives.Here follows are a mind boggling catalogue of dating disasters that we should bear in mind as lessons learned.
1. DATING A MARRIED PERSON.
Man or woman, it makes no difference. In every version the story was the same, dating a married person was a complete disaster. Not withstanding the lies, deceit, regret, cheating and false promises, on NO occasion did anyone I asked have a good outcome for their married affairs. This was one good example of how to waste your years waiting for someone who will never leave; sharing your loved one with someone else and spending thousands of pounds on stolen moments and brief weekends where you were not the only person on their mind. Avoid like the plague unless you want to lose all the dignity you ever had.
2. NOT MARRYING YOUR CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART.
It appears there are a lot of people who have spent years wishing they had married the person of their dreams when they had the chance. Unfortunately this often tends to be your childhood sweetheart or first love at college. At the time you are too young and there are too many other fish in the sea. In later years you have used them as a bench mark of the minimal level of romance required for potential partners and never quite match it. This leads to a feeling of making do with second best. In turn you start hankering for the girl or boy from all those years ago.
3. NOT ASKING SOMEONE ON A DATE.
This is a biggie because we are dealing with the eternal niggling "what if.." question. This tends to come out as a regret at a time when other things are not going well and you find yourself fantasizing. What if you had asked him out. What if you had said yes to that date? What if you had got married and had children. It seems that not asking someone out can leave a long term legacy. Just look at the popularity of reunion sites on the Internet just now.
4. NOT ENDING BAD RELATIONSHIPS FAST.
Yes lot of us listed this one. There are many of us who have entered into a relationship willingly only to discover to our cost that the relationship wasn't all it could be. Whilst the door was only over there we chose for many a reason not to walk out of it. Whilst perhaps a worthy concept in itself it does none of us a service. The fact is, too many of us have stayed in long term relationships that were not good for ourselves and our partners. If only we had had the courage at the time.
5. DATING THE WRONG PERSON FOR THE WRONG REASONS.
Maybe for sex, for appearance, for contacts, for business reasons or even out of sympathy. It appears that there are plenty of people out there who have dated people for the wrong reasons and lived to regret it. This has to be balanced against hindsight. Looking back it is obvious which people we perhaps should never have dated but there are plenty of us who dated the wrong person at the time and knew we were doing it. No excuse.
6. WAITING TOO LONG.
Oh yes, this is a modern classic. Our current society has a problem in that a third of all adults are now single - and growing. The most commonly sited reason is that we put our career first, especially through out 20's and then begin seriously dating in our 30's when we feel ready. The problem is that we are not as young as we were, not as attractive as when we were 21 in many cases, our body clocks are ticking at a deafening volume and all the best catches have been snapped up. A great many of us appear to be wishing we had sorted out our love lives earlier. Be warned.
7.LEAVING SOMEONE YOU LOVED.
I don't have the answers but it cropped up quite a few times in my survey and could be tied in with point 2. People in love have left and seem to struggle to find an explanation. All too often the decision was regretted very quickly only to find that the rejected partner had closed and bolted the door and you were never going to be allowed back. Infidelity is the primary cause, or more to the point, getting caught. If you love someone stay with them faithfully appears to be the lesson here.
8. NOT BEING VERY NICE.
Treating someone badly in a relationship always comes back to haunt you if you are the guilty party, however empowering it may have felt at the time. As we grow older we list mentally those we could have been nicer too and I am amazed how many of us confess we could have been nicer people to our lovers. I am not talking about physical violence though we all accept that it does exist within our society. No I simply mean being courteous, kind, remembering birthdays and anniversaries, buying flowers, compromising, going on holidays and being romantic and spontaneous. We live and learn and later regret is clearly the message.
9. DUMPING SOMEONE BADLY.
I have done it and I have had it done to me and I regret both happening. When young it was easy to love and leave and I never thought anything of it. As I grew older I had it done to me by someone I loved and it broke my heart. I don't think we every do get over being left in a bad way - no explanation, no reasons given. One day it's fine, the next day you're gone. Dumping via email, texting or phone should be made cardinal sins and it appears from my survey that many of us regret doing just that.
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I decided to take a survey of good friends and find out what kind of regrets people had when dating. Regrets took on many different forms in their varied answers but I thought it was interesting to ask because it often highlights dating issues we often forget to mention. As with many of my surveys, the results are haphazard but are useful in pointing out that we are not alone in the mistakes that occur in our dating lives.Here follows are a mind boggling catalogue of dating disasters that we should bear in mind as lessons learned.
1. DATING A MARRIED PERSON.
Man or woman, it makes no difference. In every version the story was the same, dating a married person was a complete disaster. Not withstanding the lies, deceit, regret, cheating and false promises, on NO occasion did anyone I asked have a good outcome for their married affairs. This was one good example of how to waste your years waiting for someone who will never leave; sharing your loved one with someone else and spending thousands of pounds on stolen moments and brief weekends where you were not the only person on their mind. Avoid like the plague unless you want to lose all the dignity you ever had.
2. NOT MARRYING YOUR CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART.
It appears there are a lot of people who have spent years wishing they had married the person of their dreams when they had the chance. Unfortunately this often tends to be your childhood sweetheart or first love at college. At the time you are too young and there are too many other fish in the sea. In later years you have used them as a bench mark of the minimal level of romance required for potential partners and never quite match it. This leads to a feeling of making do with second best. In turn you start hankering for the girl or boy from all those years ago.
3. NOT ASKING SOMEONE ON A DATE.
This is a biggie because we are dealing with the eternal niggling "what if.." question. This tends to come out as a regret at a time when other things are not going well and you find yourself fantasizing. What if you had asked him out. What if you had said yes to that date? What if you had got married and had children. It seems that not asking someone out can leave a long term legacy. Just look at the popularity of reunion sites on the Internet just now.
4. NOT ENDING BAD RELATIONSHIPS FAST.
Yes lot of us listed this one. There are many of us who have entered into a relationship willingly only to discover to our cost that the relationship wasn't all it could be. Whilst the door was only over there we chose for many a reason not to walk out of it. Whilst perhaps a worthy concept in itself it does none of us a service. The fact is, too many of us have stayed in long term relationships that were not good for ourselves and our partners. If only we had had the courage at the time.
5. DATING THE WRONG PERSON FOR THE WRONG REASONS.
Maybe for sex, for appearance, for contacts, for business reasons or even out of sympathy. It appears that there are plenty of people out there who have dated people for the wrong reasons and lived to regret it. This has to be balanced against hindsight. Looking back it is obvious which people we perhaps should never have dated but there are plenty of us who dated the wrong person at the time and knew we were doing it. No excuse.
6. WAITING TOO LONG.
Oh yes, this is a modern classic. Our current society has a problem in that a third of all adults are now single - and growing. The most commonly sited reason is that we put our career first, especially through out 20's and then begin seriously dating in our 30's when we feel ready. The problem is that we are not as young as we were, not as attractive as when we were 21 in many cases, our body clocks are ticking at a deafening volume and all the best catches have been snapped up. A great many of us appear to be wishing we had sorted out our love lives earlier. Be warned.
7.LEAVING SOMEONE YOU LOVED.
I don't have the answers but it cropped up quite a few times in my survey and could be tied in with point 2. People in love have left and seem to struggle to find an explanation. All too often the decision was regretted very quickly only to find that the rejected partner had closed and bolted the door and you were never going to be allowed back. Infidelity is the primary cause, or more to the point, getting caught. If you love someone stay with them faithfully appears to be the lesson here.
8. NOT BEING VERY NICE.
Treating someone badly in a relationship always comes back to haunt you if you are the guilty party, however empowering it may have felt at the time. As we grow older we list mentally those we could have been nicer too and I am amazed how many of us confess we could have been nicer people to our lovers. I am not talking about physical violence though we all accept that it does exist within our society. No I simply mean being courteous, kind, remembering birthdays and anniversaries, buying flowers, compromising, going on holidays and being romantic and spontaneous. We live and learn and later regret is clearly the message.
9. DUMPING SOMEONE BADLY.
I have done it and I have had it done to me and I regret both happening. When young it was easy to love and leave and I never thought anything of it. As I grew older I had it done to me by someone I loved and it broke my heart. I don't think we every do get over being left in a bad way - no explanation, no reasons given. One day it's fine, the next day you're gone. Dumping via email, texting or phone should be made cardinal sins and it appears from my survey that many of us regret doing just that.
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Wednesday, 25 April 2007
DATING RULES FOR MEN
You are a guy who knows how to date, you are a guy who hasn't dated in years, you are a guy who has never been successful with women. Whatever your situation there are some common dating rules to follow when venturing into the dating jungle. These rules are simply to protect your emotional state and to ensure even handed success. Women are trained from day one in the art of dating warfare. They have a physical and emotional arsenal that you may never hope to match. But don't be outgunned, be prepared my friends as the dating battle isn't over yet buddy.
1. LOOK YOUR BEST.
Get some decent clothes and shoes. Women always look at your shoes even if the last time you checked your Nike's out was 1996. Get clothes that fit you, suit you and are contemporary. Don't just buy one outfit, sort out your entire wardrobe. If you can't take care of yourself, how are you going to take care of her? Oh yes and buy a good well tailored suit, there is no excuse not to.
2. HYGIENE AND STYLING.
Down to the barbers and sort out your hair, get a decent style if possible. If you don't have much hair still get down to the salon and either get your head shaved or something you can handle. Then it is off to the shops with you for good quality cologne and a grooming kit. Yes that means some expense. Men are so often criticized for smelling bad. Get into a regular showering routine and smell good always. Women appreciate it.
3. SORT OUT THE JOB.
Women want a man who has some ambition in life so coasting along as a skateboard instructor is generally not going to win you a real catch (by the way I love skateboarding!) Any job is better than none, but knuckle down and sort out some direction in your life. Change job if need be but at least try and look like you have something of a career. If you have a manual job, at least have some plans to work for yourself. If you already do, then you are on the right track but know what you are about work wise and have some idea of your future because they will be asking questions about your prospects even if they pretend it isn't important. It is.
4. BUILD UP KNOWLEDGE.
Make sure you are up to date with current affairs, watch the news and read quality papers. Women do not appreciate stupidity and laziness is no excuse either. Current affairs are important in showing you know all about the world outside. If you travel a lot then this will help tremendously, if you don't have plans to travel, get some. Being able and willing to sort out holidays is essential in the grand scheme of things.
5. CUT BACK ON BOOZE.
This will never win any fair princess's heart. If you love your booze sort yourself out as there are other things in life too. Taking your lady for a drink is fine, but give them the impression that you live in there will get you absolutely nowhere - fast.
6. NOT TOO MUCH SPORT.
If sport is a religion you may have a problem but everything by degrees guys. If you are serious about dating then ramming the subject of soccer, ball games or football down your date's throat will put them off in record time. Sport to the uninitiated is completely boring and shows not only sheep mentality to a woman but lack of thought, creativity or inspiration. Millions of girls love sport too and that is fine but don't make your passion into a one-sided one.
7. NO TO FIRST DATE SEX.
If all you are after is sex you have come to the wrong place for reading material. If you are looking for the girl of your dreams there is nothing more sexy than a patient man. You are easily capable of waiting for the right woman so do it instead of thinking with your balls.
8. BE A GENTLEMAN.
A woman likes being treated well, particularly with respect. Lose the coarse language, the swear words, the rudeness and the laziness. Know how to eat in a top restaurant, know about fashion and jewelry and in particular flowers. Know how to hold a door open for a woman, let her go first and help her with her seat. Listen to what she says but have opinions of your own too. Show her respect and manners at every step and you should not go wrong.
9. LISTEN WELL.
Keep your date interested but don't turn into a one man entertainer. She will bore of you quickly because she wants to talk about herself too. Listen to things she tells you about her and remember them. Women love to chat so you need to learn to listen to her. Remembering things she told you will impress her by the bucketful. Fact.
10. NO SMOKING.
It’s obvious why.
11. LEARN TO DANCE.
Women love to dance and dancing is a physical contact sport (or can be). It is also romantic and sexy. You can be the world's worst dancer, I don't care. But if you stay seated when she is on that dance floor you may as well not exist. If you can join Salsa and dancing classes all the better. You don't need to be Travolta but you should have an idea of the basics of rhythm. Get started today.
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You are a guy who knows how to date, you are a guy who hasn't dated in years, you are a guy who has never been successful with women. Whatever your situation there are some common dating rules to follow when venturing into the dating jungle. These rules are simply to protect your emotional state and to ensure even handed success. Women are trained from day one in the art of dating warfare. They have a physical and emotional arsenal that you may never hope to match. But don't be outgunned, be prepared my friends as the dating battle isn't over yet buddy.
1. LOOK YOUR BEST.
Get some decent clothes and shoes. Women always look at your shoes even if the last time you checked your Nike's out was 1996. Get clothes that fit you, suit you and are contemporary. Don't just buy one outfit, sort out your entire wardrobe. If you can't take care of yourself, how are you going to take care of her? Oh yes and buy a good well tailored suit, there is no excuse not to.
2. HYGIENE AND STYLING.
Down to the barbers and sort out your hair, get a decent style if possible. If you don't have much hair still get down to the salon and either get your head shaved or something you can handle. Then it is off to the shops with you for good quality cologne and a grooming kit. Yes that means some expense. Men are so often criticized for smelling bad. Get into a regular showering routine and smell good always. Women appreciate it.
3. SORT OUT THE JOB.
Women want a man who has some ambition in life so coasting along as a skateboard instructor is generally not going to win you a real catch (by the way I love skateboarding!) Any job is better than none, but knuckle down and sort out some direction in your life. Change job if need be but at least try and look like you have something of a career. If you have a manual job, at least have some plans to work for yourself. If you already do, then you are on the right track but know what you are about work wise and have some idea of your future because they will be asking questions about your prospects even if they pretend it isn't important. It is.
4. BUILD UP KNOWLEDGE.
Make sure you are up to date with current affairs, watch the news and read quality papers. Women do not appreciate stupidity and laziness is no excuse either. Current affairs are important in showing you know all about the world outside. If you travel a lot then this will help tremendously, if you don't have plans to travel, get some. Being able and willing to sort out holidays is essential in the grand scheme of things.
5. CUT BACK ON BOOZE.
This will never win any fair princess's heart. If you love your booze sort yourself out as there are other things in life too. Taking your lady for a drink is fine, but give them the impression that you live in there will get you absolutely nowhere - fast.
6. NOT TOO MUCH SPORT.
If sport is a religion you may have a problem but everything by degrees guys. If you are serious about dating then ramming the subject of soccer, ball games or football down your date's throat will put them off in record time. Sport to the uninitiated is completely boring and shows not only sheep mentality to a woman but lack of thought, creativity or inspiration. Millions of girls love sport too and that is fine but don't make your passion into a one-sided one.
7. NO TO FIRST DATE SEX.
If all you are after is sex you have come to the wrong place for reading material. If you are looking for the girl of your dreams there is nothing more sexy than a patient man. You are easily capable of waiting for the right woman so do it instead of thinking with your balls.
8. BE A GENTLEMAN.
A woman likes being treated well, particularly with respect. Lose the coarse language, the swear words, the rudeness and the laziness. Know how to eat in a top restaurant, know about fashion and jewelry and in particular flowers. Know how to hold a door open for a woman, let her go first and help her with her seat. Listen to what she says but have opinions of your own too. Show her respect and manners at every step and you should not go wrong.
9. LISTEN WELL.
Keep your date interested but don't turn into a one man entertainer. She will bore of you quickly because she wants to talk about herself too. Listen to things she tells you about her and remember them. Women love to chat so you need to learn to listen to her. Remembering things she told you will impress her by the bucketful. Fact.
10. NO SMOKING.
It’s obvious why.
11. LEARN TO DANCE.
Women love to dance and dancing is a physical contact sport (or can be). It is also romantic and sexy. You can be the world's worst dancer, I don't care. But if you stay seated when she is on that dance floor you may as well not exist. If you can join Salsa and dancing classes all the better. You don't need to be Travolta but you should have an idea of the basics of rhythm. Get started today.
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Monday, 23 April 2007
DATING ETIQUETTE
When you begin dating, you must recognize that there are some major rules of thumb to follow that will help you be successful with others. When I write these kind of lists I often feel like I am a teacher restating the basics; but the truth is we all forget from time to time.
Dating is about two people coming together to see whether they are compatible and then enjoying each other's company so that they may move towards forming a close bond. In doing so there are things that you should remember.
Dating should always be fun and it is as much your responsibility to ensure it is. When you are dating ensure that you do everything you can to make the meeting enjoyable.
Eye contact is crucial when dating so it is good etiquette to provide as much attention as possible to your date. They should feel that they are the only person in the room. If you use the date as an excuse for general partying you failed.
You will be courteous and complimentary. Your date has made an effort for you and your personal opinions are not welcome at this stage.
As a man you must never talk to a woman's breasts. They hate it. Being appreciated for her feminine charms is one thing, but talking to her breasts is down right rude and is not acceptable, so hold her gaze throughout.
You will always turn up for a date unless you have given enough time for it to be cancelled. Standing someone up is not acceptable adult behaviour, and shows contempt for your prospective date by wasting their time. This kind of arrogance is detestable.
You will always turn up on time and not keep your date waiting. If the transport is unreliable set off in good time. Being punctual shows respect for your date and illustrates how organized you are.
You will not be flash or extravagant. These are the domain of the classless rich who impress with their wealth. It shows no taste whatsoever to throw your credit card about and entertain with champagne unless you are simply after cheap thrills.
Smoking and drinking copious amounts on dates are no good unless the love of both is shared by both parties. Smoking in a restaurant will do nothing for your image and shows crass disregard for others.You will not be opinionated or arrogant on a date and you will try to avoid discussions on politics and religion in the early stages.
You may be very opinionated on certain topics and maybe for good reason but that does not mean you are right. You will come across badly to your date of you act like this. Arrogance makes most people feel uncomfortable so avoid at all costs.
You will never argue or be rude to others on a date, it simply is not acceptable. You are trying to show your good side so arguing over service charge or whether the wine is chilled enough will make you look a fool. Arguing with a waiter is a huge no-no.
You will be a listener and not talk your date to death, particularly if you are male. Listening shows interest and the ability to compromise. If your idea of a date is talking about yourself and your opinions all night then do the world a favour and stay at home alone.You will make an effort to dress well. In this day and age there is absolutely no excuse to look bad. Poor dress sense shows laziness and will do nothing to promote you. Furthermore it shows a lack of respect for your date who has made an effort.You will make an effort to be fresh and smell good. I cannot believe I have to mention hygiene to men (and the odd woman !) so frequently. You should be shaven, bathed and smell very good. It costs nothing except a bottle of good quality cologne and some shower gel.
You will never swear and use uncouth language as you will come across as an idiot. Leave street talk to later. If you want to find the girl of your dreams, then treat her with respect. Women are able to use strong language in more effective subtle ways but even so, leave it on the first date if possible.
Never ever will you discuss your ex dates or how many people you have slept with. This is the domain of enigma. As a man, you will not be encouraged to discuss sex however hard she tries to provoke you. Ignore this message at your peril as I know what I am talking about. The longer you sustain the mystery the better your chances.
If you don't like your date then don't be quick to give them a hard time. They are human beings like you and they deserve always to be treated with respect. You can and will have a good time with someone you are not attracted to, so treating someone badly because they are not your type is not acceptable behaviour. Rudeness is not allowed.
You will never tell lies on a date either to get someone into bed or to promote yourself because you WILL get found out. Maybe not now but probably when it is too late. Tell the truth or avoid a subject if necessary.As a man you will pay the bill on the first date without question and you will not discuss money openly at this stage. Money discussions are crass and lack sophistication.
You will ensure your date feels comfortable at all times and encourage their feelings of comfort if you detect any signals of being uncomfortable. You will also ensure that your date gets home safely in a taxi etc.
You will never try and sleep with your date on the first occasion but any method. Sex comes later my friend, no arguments. If you do sleep with them on the first date, the chances are it is over before it began.
You will make sure you are as entertaining and witty as possible and will not reply on alcohol to see you through. Getting wasted on a date shows no respect whatsoever and makes a mockery of the whole situation.
You will call when you promise to call and not keep someone hanging on. If you don't like your date then don't falsely promise anything or leave the door open. Again this shows a great disrespect for your date if you do. Waiting for the phone to ring has long term repercussions.And finally, you will NEVER date and pretend to be single when you are not. The line to your companion late in the evening "well I am kind of seeing someone" makes me personally seethe. Go dating when you are single and not until.
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When you begin dating, you must recognize that there are some major rules of thumb to follow that will help you be successful with others. When I write these kind of lists I often feel like I am a teacher restating the basics; but the truth is we all forget from time to time.
Dating is about two people coming together to see whether they are compatible and then enjoying each other's company so that they may move towards forming a close bond. In doing so there are things that you should remember.
Dating should always be fun and it is as much your responsibility to ensure it is. When you are dating ensure that you do everything you can to make the meeting enjoyable.
Eye contact is crucial when dating so it is good etiquette to provide as much attention as possible to your date. They should feel that they are the only person in the room. If you use the date as an excuse for general partying you failed.
You will be courteous and complimentary. Your date has made an effort for you and your personal opinions are not welcome at this stage.
As a man you must never talk to a woman's breasts. They hate it. Being appreciated for her feminine charms is one thing, but talking to her breasts is down right rude and is not acceptable, so hold her gaze throughout.
You will always turn up for a date unless you have given enough time for it to be cancelled. Standing someone up is not acceptable adult behaviour, and shows contempt for your prospective date by wasting their time. This kind of arrogance is detestable.
You will always turn up on time and not keep your date waiting. If the transport is unreliable set off in good time. Being punctual shows respect for your date and illustrates how organized you are.
You will not be flash or extravagant. These are the domain of the classless rich who impress with their wealth. It shows no taste whatsoever to throw your credit card about and entertain with champagne unless you are simply after cheap thrills.
Smoking and drinking copious amounts on dates are no good unless the love of both is shared by both parties. Smoking in a restaurant will do nothing for your image and shows crass disregard for others.You will not be opinionated or arrogant on a date and you will try to avoid discussions on politics and religion in the early stages.
You may be very opinionated on certain topics and maybe for good reason but that does not mean you are right. You will come across badly to your date of you act like this. Arrogance makes most people feel uncomfortable so avoid at all costs.
You will never argue or be rude to others on a date, it simply is not acceptable. You are trying to show your good side so arguing over service charge or whether the wine is chilled enough will make you look a fool. Arguing with a waiter is a huge no-no.
You will be a listener and not talk your date to death, particularly if you are male. Listening shows interest and the ability to compromise. If your idea of a date is talking about yourself and your opinions all night then do the world a favour and stay at home alone.You will make an effort to dress well. In this day and age there is absolutely no excuse to look bad. Poor dress sense shows laziness and will do nothing to promote you. Furthermore it shows a lack of respect for your date who has made an effort.You will make an effort to be fresh and smell good. I cannot believe I have to mention hygiene to men (and the odd woman !) so frequently. You should be shaven, bathed and smell very good. It costs nothing except a bottle of good quality cologne and some shower gel.
You will never swear and use uncouth language as you will come across as an idiot. Leave street talk to later. If you want to find the girl of your dreams, then treat her with respect. Women are able to use strong language in more effective subtle ways but even so, leave it on the first date if possible.
Never ever will you discuss your ex dates or how many people you have slept with. This is the domain of enigma. As a man, you will not be encouraged to discuss sex however hard she tries to provoke you. Ignore this message at your peril as I know what I am talking about. The longer you sustain the mystery the better your chances.
If you don't like your date then don't be quick to give them a hard time. They are human beings like you and they deserve always to be treated with respect. You can and will have a good time with someone you are not attracted to, so treating someone badly because they are not your type is not acceptable behaviour. Rudeness is not allowed.
You will never tell lies on a date either to get someone into bed or to promote yourself because you WILL get found out. Maybe not now but probably when it is too late. Tell the truth or avoid a subject if necessary.As a man you will pay the bill on the first date without question and you will not discuss money openly at this stage. Money discussions are crass and lack sophistication.
You will ensure your date feels comfortable at all times and encourage their feelings of comfort if you detect any signals of being uncomfortable. You will also ensure that your date gets home safely in a taxi etc.
You will never try and sleep with your date on the first occasion but any method. Sex comes later my friend, no arguments. If you do sleep with them on the first date, the chances are it is over before it began.
You will make sure you are as entertaining and witty as possible and will not reply on alcohol to see you through. Getting wasted on a date shows no respect whatsoever and makes a mockery of the whole situation.
You will call when you promise to call and not keep someone hanging on. If you don't like your date then don't falsely promise anything or leave the door open. Again this shows a great disrespect for your date if you do. Waiting for the phone to ring has long term repercussions.And finally, you will NEVER date and pretend to be single when you are not. The line to your companion late in the evening "well I am kind of seeing someone" makes me personally seethe. Go dating when you are single and not until.
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Sunday, 22 April 2007
INTERNET DATING
Internet dating is a fairly recent phenomenon and one that is either presented to you very professionally by worldwide dating agencies or by local hacks who are jumping on the dating bandwagon. In every industry there are the cheap and cheerful options, but where affairs of the heart are concerned, Internet dating is best selected carefully.
As single people increase in numbers as a percentage of society so two industries have sprung up around us, those who try and find out why so many people are single and those who try and bring single people together. Our sister site www.lets-get-together.co.uk has been very successful over the years in bringing people together and it is such professional agencies like this that can help bring fun, romance and success back into our dating lives.
Internet dating is best selected from the top few agencies. It is not a case of selecting those who spam you with hundreds of emails, or have banners plastered all over the Internet with photos of models posing as glossy couples. They may well look good but of course, Internet dating time is better spent with quality agencies who know the subject they are dealing with.
For women, the key thing is to go for an Internet dating site that is keen to promote safe dating for women. Very few do this and that is because they are after making money and don't spend too much time on thinking about what women want to feel when logged in providing personal details to strangers. Currently we are working on a scheme to provide a safe dating for women award which will allow you to spot the best dating sites on the web. Watch this space.
Romance online can be fun, quick and simple, but often ignored as a strange pastime by our condescending couple-ish friends. The fact is that it is generally very safe, secure and fun if you use a professional agency. After all , their business is to help people find love and romance.
Here are some key things you should always keep in mind when attempting to use the Internet for romance.
Internet dating is a fairly recent phenomenon and one that is either presented to you very professionally by worldwide dating agencies or by local hacks who are jumping on the dating bandwagon. In every industry there are the cheap and cheerful options, but where affairs of the heart are concerned, Internet dating is best selected carefully.
As single people increase in numbers as a percentage of society so two industries have sprung up around us, those who try and find out why so many people are single and those who try and bring single people together. Our sister site www.lets-get-together.co.uk has been very successful over the years in bringing people together and it is such professional agencies like this that can help bring fun, romance and success back into our dating lives.
Internet dating is best selected from the top few agencies. It is not a case of selecting those who spam you with hundreds of emails, or have banners plastered all over the Internet with photos of models posing as glossy couples. They may well look good but of course, Internet dating time is better spent with quality agencies who know the subject they are dealing with.
For women, the key thing is to go for an Internet dating site that is keen to promote safe dating for women. Very few do this and that is because they are after making money and don't spend too much time on thinking about what women want to feel when logged in providing personal details to strangers. Currently we are working on a scheme to provide a safe dating for women award which will allow you to spot the best dating sites on the web. Watch this space.
Romance online can be fun, quick and simple, but often ignored as a strange pastime by our condescending couple-ish friends. The fact is that it is generally very safe, secure and fun if you use a professional agency. After all , their business is to help people find love and romance.
Here are some key things you should always keep in mind when attempting to use the Internet for romance.
- Use a professional introduction agency, one that has been established for at least 3 years
- Use an Internet dating specialist firm, not some free extra which is an afterthought on many sites .
- Use a dating agency that allows free profile registration for all members
- Use an online service that allows you to post more than one photo for free
- Use an Internet dating services agency that has a secure ecommerce system backed by a major bank
- Do not use completely free agencies as you often don't get top quality services because they are expensive to run
- Do find an online agency that offers email and messaging that are onsite
- Do provide your correct mailing address when registering to receive the best facilities
- Don't use agencies that insist on sending emails to your own home email inbox from site members
- The best Internet dating specialists offer you great customer service, look for online help
- Use an internet dating agency that is appealing and relaxed and suits your style
- Don't go for internet dating agencies that pay for glossy adverts to catch your eye, they are not always the best
- Look for online agencies that provide detailed dating articles and advice
- Make sure that the online agency includes their full address and phone number
- International websites usually have the best variety of member profiles
- Find an Internet dating agency that is willing to chat about any issues you may have
- Use an agency that offers different methods of secure payment
- Some of the best dating agencies allow payment in different currencies
- It is essential that you can Browse & Find profiles for free
- Make sure that the search facilities are fast and suit your style of searching
- Use an Internet dating agency that is properly established.
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Saturday, 21 April 2007
KISSING
Kissing is probably the most physically romantic two single people can get. There really is no wrong way to kiss. The thing to remember is that everybody kisses differently and different singles prefer different ways of kissing. Some people, believe it or not, are appalled at the idea of French Kissing or using your tongue while you kiss, while other singles can't imagine kissing without using their tongue. The thing is to try kissing that single person a few times before deciding how you and your partner prefer kissing and to get used to the way that person kisses.
Kissing Tips
Relax
- Move gently to your partner and put your arms around them.·
- Move your mouth towards them and your lips meet, keep them slightly parted and press gently against their lips. Move your head a little to the side, so your nose won't get in the way.
- What you do next depends on their reaction. If they respond then carry on kissing if you sense no active response then move your lips apart slowly and gently let go of your partner and look into their eyes.
- If you feel that the signals are right then again gently start to kiss your partner and if they respond then you can begin to kiss a little more passionately. The golden rule is to be gentle and try to read your partners feelings.
- If either of you wears glasses, just take them off if you wish before kissing.· A sure way to ruin a kiss is with bad breath use mints or similar beforehand.· A non-smoker may not enjoy kissing a smoker, use mints as above.
French Kissing Tips
A French kiss are kisses in which you use your tongues.
- Put your arms around the person you want to kiss.
- Begin with a slow kiss; you can close your eyes if you wish.
- Slowly and gently open your mouth and softly nudge the other person's mouth open using your tongue.
- Gently, move your tongue inside the other person's mouth and touch their tongue.· If your partner seems tense or start to slowly pull away, stop what you are doing.
- If they open their mouth more or otherwise indicate they like the kiss, keep on doing what you have been only with a little more passion.
- As the kissing gets going saliva build up can be a problem, don't forget to swallow.
- Keep your tongue relaxed but your lips tight (saliva again), as you don't want the kiss to turn wet and messy.
- Do not get over forceful - be gentle.
- Enjoy it!
Can you "catch something" by kissing?
Yes anything from a cold to a serious sexually transmitted disease. Kissing is not 100% safe so if you are concerned or worried ask your partner if they are ill and don't kiss them if you do not feel safe.
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Kissing is probably the most physically romantic two single people can get. There really is no wrong way to kiss. The thing to remember is that everybody kisses differently and different singles prefer different ways of kissing. Some people, believe it or not, are appalled at the idea of French Kissing or using your tongue while you kiss, while other singles can't imagine kissing without using their tongue. The thing is to try kissing that single person a few times before deciding how you and your partner prefer kissing and to get used to the way that person kisses.
Kissing Tips
Relax
- Move gently to your partner and put your arms around them.·
- Move your mouth towards them and your lips meet, keep them slightly parted and press gently against their lips. Move your head a little to the side, so your nose won't get in the way.
- What you do next depends on their reaction. If they respond then carry on kissing if you sense no active response then move your lips apart slowly and gently let go of your partner and look into their eyes.
- If you feel that the signals are right then again gently start to kiss your partner and if they respond then you can begin to kiss a little more passionately. The golden rule is to be gentle and try to read your partners feelings.
- If either of you wears glasses, just take them off if you wish before kissing.· A sure way to ruin a kiss is with bad breath use mints or similar beforehand.· A non-smoker may not enjoy kissing a smoker, use mints as above.
French Kissing Tips
A French kiss are kisses in which you use your tongues.
- Put your arms around the person you want to kiss.
- Begin with a slow kiss; you can close your eyes if you wish.
- Slowly and gently open your mouth and softly nudge the other person's mouth open using your tongue.
- Gently, move your tongue inside the other person's mouth and touch their tongue.· If your partner seems tense or start to slowly pull away, stop what you are doing.
- If they open their mouth more or otherwise indicate they like the kiss, keep on doing what you have been only with a little more passion.
- As the kissing gets going saliva build up can be a problem, don't forget to swallow.
- Keep your tongue relaxed but your lips tight (saliva again), as you don't want the kiss to turn wet and messy.
- Do not get over forceful - be gentle.
- Enjoy it!
Can you "catch something" by kissing?
Yes anything from a cold to a serious sexually transmitted disease. Kissing is not 100% safe so if you are concerned or worried ask your partner if they are ill and don't kiss them if you do not feel safe.
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Friday, 20 April 2007
DATE IDEAS- CHEAP TO EXPENSIVE
The first date is not just about restaurants and movies. Here are some great first date ideas starting with the very cheap, more expensive to the extravagant:
1. Beach date - Take a picnic, a bottle of wine and a rug, and spend the day catching the sun together. Or, you could take a dip together - all that splashing about is bound to be great fun.
2. Picnic date by a river - Prepare a basket of goodies, a chilled bottle of wine and enjoy the day relaxing in each other's company.
3. The movie date - Let your date choose the film. It will show good gesture if you don`t have the same taste in films.
4. Theme Park date - Big or small, everybody loves theme parks. Triple loop roller coasters, dodgems, candy floss - the ideal date for the big kid in us.
5. Eat in date - Show off your culinary skills to your date and ask them round for dinner. Don`t overdo the candles and music, or you may frighten your date away.
6. Indoor ice skating, or rollerblading in the park date- You can lean against each other for balance and warmth.
7. Kite flying date -. Have a great time as you and your date struggle to make it fly.
8. A date at the zoo - Everyone likes animals so a trip to the zoo makes for a perfect date.
9. Local museum or art gallery date- This is only a good idea if you are both interested in museums.
Expensive Date Ideas
1. Go to a concert – Take your date to see their favorite band in concert and dance the night away.
2. Go for an expensive meal – Have your date serenaded by one of the waiters with a bottle of champagne and a dozen red roses.
3. Go horseback riding - Take your date to the nearest horse farm. Spend the afternoon horse riding and stopping to take in the scenery, and afternoon lunch in a local inn.
4. Candlelit dinner for two aboard a yacht – Take your date out to sea. Put on the full works - captain sailing, champagne on ice and lobsters for dinner.
5. Take in a show - Get dressed up for the evening and take your date along to watch one of your favorite shows at a theater house. Or go to a premier of a big block buster movie.
6. Horse drawn carriage at night – Take your date around the city and through the park, on a horse drawn carriage. Have it take you to a swanky restaurant and wait while you dine.
7. Under the sea – Take your date scuba diving.
8. Take to the sky - Go for a trip in a hot air balloon with your date.
9. A trip to Paris for the afternoon - Fly your date to Paris and back in an afternoon. This is the ultimate first date destination (especially if it is their first time there).
10. On top of the world - Prepare a basket of caviar, prawn cocktail, strawberries and cream, and champagne on ice, and take your date to the skies. Well, the top of the highest building you can get to.
Extravagant Date Ideas
1. Fly your date to Venice and back - Take in all the sights that Venice has to offer. Finish the date with romantic gondolier ride that Venice is so famous for.
2. Helicopter ride - Go for a flight over the city in a helicopter with your date.
3. We're in the money - Dress up to the nines and go blow a fortune in a top casino with your date.
4. Parachute jump - Take to the sky for the high of a lifetime. This one cannot be a surprise date, unless you are sure it is what they want!
5. Climb to the top of the world - Go mounting climbing on a clear summer's day. Don't forget the flag for when you reach the top with your date.
6. Go swimming with dolphins - This has to be the ultimate experience of a lifetime and if you aim to impress your date, this is the way to do it.
7. Para-gliding – Take your date to the sea, have lunch, then the skies the limit.8. Eating in - Hire a top chef and waiting staff, and have your date round to your place for a meal they won`t forget.
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The first date is not just about restaurants and movies. Here are some great first date ideas starting with the very cheap, more expensive to the extravagant:
1. Beach date - Take a picnic, a bottle of wine and a rug, and spend the day catching the sun together. Or, you could take a dip together - all that splashing about is bound to be great fun.
2. Picnic date by a river - Prepare a basket of goodies, a chilled bottle of wine and enjoy the day relaxing in each other's company.
3. The movie date - Let your date choose the film. It will show good gesture if you don`t have the same taste in films.
4. Theme Park date - Big or small, everybody loves theme parks. Triple loop roller coasters, dodgems, candy floss - the ideal date for the big kid in us.
5. Eat in date - Show off your culinary skills to your date and ask them round for dinner. Don`t overdo the candles and music, or you may frighten your date away.
6. Indoor ice skating, or rollerblading in the park date- You can lean against each other for balance and warmth.
7. Kite flying date -. Have a great time as you and your date struggle to make it fly.
8. A date at the zoo - Everyone likes animals so a trip to the zoo makes for a perfect date.
9. Local museum or art gallery date- This is only a good idea if you are both interested in museums.
Expensive Date Ideas
1. Go to a concert – Take your date to see their favorite band in concert and dance the night away.
2. Go for an expensive meal – Have your date serenaded by one of the waiters with a bottle of champagne and a dozen red roses.
3. Go horseback riding - Take your date to the nearest horse farm. Spend the afternoon horse riding and stopping to take in the scenery, and afternoon lunch in a local inn.
4. Candlelit dinner for two aboard a yacht – Take your date out to sea. Put on the full works - captain sailing, champagne on ice and lobsters for dinner.
5. Take in a show - Get dressed up for the evening and take your date along to watch one of your favorite shows at a theater house. Or go to a premier of a big block buster movie.
6. Horse drawn carriage at night – Take your date around the city and through the park, on a horse drawn carriage. Have it take you to a swanky restaurant and wait while you dine.
7. Under the sea – Take your date scuba diving.
8. Take to the sky - Go for a trip in a hot air balloon with your date.
9. A trip to Paris for the afternoon - Fly your date to Paris and back in an afternoon. This is the ultimate first date destination (especially if it is their first time there).
10. On top of the world - Prepare a basket of caviar, prawn cocktail, strawberries and cream, and champagne on ice, and take your date to the skies. Well, the top of the highest building you can get to.
Extravagant Date Ideas
1. Fly your date to Venice and back - Take in all the sights that Venice has to offer. Finish the date with romantic gondolier ride that Venice is so famous for.
2. Helicopter ride - Go for a flight over the city in a helicopter with your date.
3. We're in the money - Dress up to the nines and go blow a fortune in a top casino with your date.
4. Parachute jump - Take to the sky for the high of a lifetime. This one cannot be a surprise date, unless you are sure it is what they want!
5. Climb to the top of the world - Go mounting climbing on a clear summer's day. Don't forget the flag for when you reach the top with your date.
6. Go swimming with dolphins - This has to be the ultimate experience of a lifetime and if you aim to impress your date, this is the way to do it.
7. Para-gliding – Take your date to the sea, have lunch, then the skies the limit.8. Eating in - Hire a top chef and waiting staff, and have your date round to your place for a meal they won`t forget.
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Thursday, 19 April 2007
DATING ESSENTIALS FOR MEN
When going out on a date there are some basics that are worth listing in a quick list to cover the essentials. Whilst we all know this stuff, it is always worth reminding ourselves, as single men, how to get the foundations right.
Bathe
This may sound cheeky but the worst thing you could do when going out on a date (especially if it is your first date with her) is to turn up unshaven, looking dirty and smelling. Single women are the cleaner of the species and will judge you on how hygienic you are, after all, you would be appalled if she turned up for the date looking like a hippy that hadn’t bathed for a while. It doesn’t cost to take a bath and make an effort. Remember bad breath and body odor are an instant turn off and she will assume that this is how you are all the time. Even if you are just having a bad day (hey, single girls have bad hair days all the time) she won’t see beyond your appearance - fickle, but true!
Arrive on Time
The worst thing you can do on your date is turn up late! Turning up late will send out all the wrong impre
ssions that you definitely don’t want her to think. Single women always assume the worst and one of the worst is turning up late. Not only will your date think that she has been stood up, but will also think that you are unreliable. If you are picking your date up from her home, then it is advisable to turn up 5 minute before you are due. Any earlier and she will be adjusting her make up, or still getting ready and won’t want you to see her half finished. Turning up late... well just don’t!
Be a Gentleman
Hold the door open for your date, let your date walk through the door first, pull out her chair, be polite to her and the people around you. Single women like to feel special and by treating her like a lady she will think you are fantastic.
Compliment Her
The first thing to say to your date is "you look beautiful" before you even ask how she is. Keep the compliments flowing throughout your date, such as "your hair looks nice, I like the colour of it, your eyes are very sparkly" etc.. But do not go overboard! A single woman loves to be complimented, feel sexy, gorgeous and beautiful. However, most important of all, she needs to feel you are attracted to her.
Listen to Her and Ask Questions
Nobody wants to spend the whole night listening to someone talk about themselves, or not listening to what the other person is saying. But you do have to get to know each other. Ask your date questions, but more importantly listen to what she has to say. There is nothing more that a single woman likes than when someone is interested in what they have to say.
I remember once I was sitting in a restaurant waiting for some friends. There was a single man and single woman sitting at the table next to mine and I couldn’t help overhearing their conversation (rather him talking about himself). I could tell it was their first date from what he was telling her about himself. "I play Saturday league football, I like boxing".... He went on like this for about 10 minutes without stopping, or asking her questions. She was just sitting there nodding slightly every so often, and looking bored. That day left an impact on me, and every time I have been on a date since, I have been conscious of the woman, and took an interest in what she had to say. This is probably the best bit of advice I could give.
Prepare
The last thing you want is to be sitting having a meal and the conversation dries up, and you are left for the rest of the night bored with each other. Think about your date and what you would like to know about her, and in return what you would like her to know about you. Try and think of any questions that she might ask you, so that you can
prepare the answer. You think that it is easy to talk, and that you will not run out of questions to ask, or that you will automatically have the answers. But until you are there, and in the situation, you have no idea what it will be like. You can avoid all of this by meeting for a quick drink, then go on to see a film, so at least you will have something to talk about.
Who Will Pay?
This is a really tough question, as now single women are more independent and like to pay their way. I suggest that you offer to pay and if she lets you, pay. If she wants to pay, you can argue that you want to at least pay for half the bill. If she offers to split again, you can argue (that is if you want to), but if she insists on splitting then let her pay half.
The Goodnight Kiss
Some single women prefer not to kiss after a date; others are disappointed if the single guy doesn't even try. There is no easy answer to this. The only answer I can come up with is; wait until either she makes the first move, or that you both know when you are ready. Watch out for body language and little touches, but I would not advise sex on the first date unless she wants to.
I'll Call You
Only tell her that you will call her if you mean it, and intend on dating her again. This is an awkward situation, and most of the time the easiest solution is, to take her number and tell her you will call her, but don’t if you are not interested. When saying good-bye just say, "It was nice meeting you" and wish her luck or you could just say good night, smile, and walk away. But if you do like her and are interested, then you have to let her know.
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When going out on a date there are some basics that are worth listing in a quick list to cover the essentials. Whilst we all know this stuff, it is always worth reminding ourselves, as single men, how to get the foundations right.
Bathe
This may sound cheeky but the worst thing you could do when going out on a date (especially if it is your first date with her) is to turn up unshaven, looking dirty and smelling. Single women are the cleaner of the species and will judge you on how hygienic you are, after all, you would be appalled if she turned up for the date looking like a hippy that hadn’t bathed for a while. It doesn’t cost to take a bath and make an effort. Remember bad breath and body odor are an instant turn off and she will assume that this is how you are all the time. Even if you are just having a bad day (hey, single girls have bad hair days all the time) she won’t see beyond your appearance - fickle, but true!
Arrive on Time
The worst thing you can do on your date is turn up late! Turning up late will send out all the wrong impre
ssions that you definitely don’t want her to think. Single women always assume the worst and one of the worst is turning up late. Not only will your date think that she has been stood up, but will also think that you are unreliable. If you are picking your date up from her home, then it is advisable to turn up 5 minute before you are due. Any earlier and she will be adjusting her make up, or still getting ready and won’t want you to see her half finished. Turning up late... well just don’t!Be a Gentleman
Hold the door open for your date, let your date walk through the door first, pull out her chair, be polite to her and the people around you. Single women like to feel special and by treating her like a lady she will think you are fantastic.
Compliment Her
The first thing to say to your date is "you look beautiful" before you even ask how she is. Keep the compliments flowing throughout your date, such as "your hair looks nice, I like the colour of it, your eyes are very sparkly" etc.. But do not go overboard! A single woman loves to be complimented, feel sexy, gorgeous and beautiful. However, most important of all, she needs to feel you are attracted to her.
Listen to Her and Ask Questions
Nobody wants to spend the whole night listening to someone talk about themselves, or not listening to what the other person is saying. But you do have to get to know each other. Ask your date questions, but more importantly listen to what she has to say. There is nothing more that a single woman likes than when someone is interested in what they have to say.
I remember once I was sitting in a restaurant waiting for some friends. There was a single man and single woman sitting at the table next to mine and I couldn’t help overhearing their conversation (rather him talking about himself). I could tell it was their first date from what he was telling her about himself. "I play Saturday league football, I like boxing".... He went on like this for about 10 minutes without stopping, or asking her questions. She was just sitting there nodding slightly every so often, and looking bored. That day left an impact on me, and every time I have been on a date since, I have been conscious of the woman, and took an interest in what she had to say. This is probably the best bit of advice I could give.
Prepare
The last thing you want is to be sitting having a meal and the conversation dries up, and you are left for the rest of the night bored with each other. Think about your date and what you would like to know about her, and in return what you would like her to know about you. Try and think of any questions that she might ask you, so that you can
prepare the answer. You think that it is easy to talk, and that you will not run out of questions to ask, or that you will automatically have the answers. But until you are there, and in the situation, you have no idea what it will be like. You can avoid all of this by meeting for a quick drink, then go on to see a film, so at least you will have something to talk about.Who Will Pay?
This is a really tough question, as now single women are more independent and like to pay their way. I suggest that you offer to pay and if she lets you, pay. If she wants to pay, you can argue that you want to at least pay for half the bill. If she offers to split again, you can argue (that is if you want to), but if she insists on splitting then let her pay half.
The Goodnight Kiss
Some single women prefer not to kiss after a date; others are disappointed if the single guy doesn't even try. There is no easy answer to this. The only answer I can come up with is; wait until either she makes the first move, or that you both know when you are ready. Watch out for body language and little touches, but I would not advise sex on the first date unless she wants to.
I'll Call You
Only tell her that you will call her if you mean it, and intend on dating her again. This is an awkward situation, and most of the time the easiest solution is, to take her number and tell her you will call her, but don’t if you are not interested. When saying good-bye just say, "It was nice meeting you" and wish her luck or you could just say good night, smile, and walk away. But if you do like her and are interested, then you have to let her know.
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