Tuesday, 30 October 2007

MODERN DATING

Dating is a relatively modern term to describe an age old tradition. Just to show how easy we forget the age of things, the word condom first appeared in 1706! Due to the vagueness of specific meaning and intent in the word "dating" it is a term that has become popular worldwide as the term of choice for meeting new people on a romantic basis. We don't begin dating to become friends, we date to become lovers, partners, boyfriends and girlfriends. We can argue that the word literally means that one has reserved this day or date for a particular person. Of course dating in many countries is not the most common term, in areas of the UK we still see people using terms like "courting", "going out with", "stepping out with" or "seeing".

All terms have the same function, which is to describe a higher level of meeting with a person than just friendship.A few generations ago we would have determined dating as a courtship ritual leading to marriage and however much you my wish to disagree with me, hidden underneath our modern methods today, that is generally still the goal of most single people. Dating for the sake of it is becoming more widespread, almost like a sport, but the vast majority of people dating are dating for fun and at the same time dating with a more serious intent too.We are a great deal more traditional about dating than we care to admit. It is till often the case that a single man will ask the permission of the partner's parent to marry their daughter. A very traditional gesture.

It is also worth making a note that in Moslem and Arab traditions, dating is seen even by many of the young as interfering with the concept of family and dating is seen as threatening. With the influences of the West, of course dating is starting to invade every culture but do not think it is socially accepted everywhere. Do not forget either that in arranged marriage cultures, many men and women do have the chance to say 'no' to prospective partners, even thought the West often chooses not to accept that.The purpose of dating is to meet someone we like on a romantic and personal level but dating can also mean casual sex too. Lets not be high handed here, there are plenty of single people of both sexes for which dating is nothing more than physical contact.

This can be due to age, attitude and outlook as well as desire. Its easy to take the moral high ground but people like to experiment sexually and like to find out just how compatible they are with someone else as much as about themselves physically before thinking about committing to someone. An to be honest why not. First sex on a wedding night is a romantic notion of decades past, but the idea that you could be married for life to a sexually incompatible person is terrifying to many.Modern generations are far more liberated than preceding post war generations and consequently their priorities and check lists when dating are very different.

Post AIDS, it is true that the most recent generations cannot be compared directly with the 60's generations in terms of free sex and open relationships due to simple health factors. Therefore dating does adapt with each new generation. New attitudes develop every 10 to 15 years so dating is a dynamic that has no presets you can argue. However, I come back to the same part of the equation as before, dating is a test of compatibility with the same long term goal, longer term or permanent union between two people. The real change has been in recent years with the creation and development of a professional dating industry. From advisers and lifestyle experts to dating coaches and relationship counselors, to dating books and self-help videos.

Then you have the plethora of dating agencies both on and off the Internet all aimed at help bringing people together. Dating hasn't gone anywhere, the desire for people to meet others is as strong as ever, and its become international due to new communication methods. Its now possible for people in Washington DC and Kuala Lumpur to get chatting online in seconds and form some meaningful relationship within a few hours. So all is not bad.Like it or not, we are still the serious dating people we always were, and we still crave relationship stability. Skeptics can argue all they like that people don't want to marry anymore but I disagree, I think we just have different standards. It perhaps just takes more work in our dating lives, that's all.

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Monday, 29 October 2007

KISSING

Kissing is probably the most physically romantic two single people can get. There really is no wrong way to kiss. The thing to remember is that everybody kisses differently and different singles prefer different ways of kissing. Some people, believe it or not, are appalled at the idea of French Kissing or using your tongue while you kiss, while other singles can't imagine kissing without using their tongue. The thing is to try kissing that single person a few times before deciding how you and your partner prefer kissing and to get used to the way that person kisses.

Kissing Tips
Relax
Move gently to your partner and put your arms around them.
Move your mouth towards them and your lips meet, keep them slightly parted and press gently against their lips. Move your head a little to the side, so your nose won't get in the way.
What you do next depends on their reaction. If they respond then carry on kissing if you sense no active response then move your lips apart slowly and gently let go of your partner and look into their eyes.
If you feel that the signals are right then again gently start to kiss your partner and if they respond then you can begin to kiss a little more passionately. The golden rule is to be gentle and try to read your partners feelings.
If either of you wears glasses, just take them off if you wish before kissing.
A sure way to ruin a kiss is with bad breath use mints or similar beforehand.
A non-smoker may not enjoy kissing a smoker, use mints as above.

French Kissing Tips
A French kiss are kisses in which you use your tongues.
· Put your arms around the person you want to kiss.
· Begin with a slow kiss; you can close your eyes if you wish.
· Slowly and gently open your mouth and softly nudge the other person's mouth open using your tongue.
· Gently, move your tongue inside the other person's mouth and touch their tongue.
· If your partner seems tense or start to slowly pull away, stop what you are doing.
· If they open their mouth more or otherwise indicate they like the kiss, keep on doing what you have been only with a little more passion.
· As the kissing gets going saliva build up can be a problem, don't forget to swallow.
· Keep your tongue relaxed but your lips tight (saliva again), as you don't want the kiss to turn wet and messy.
· Do not get over forceful - be gentle.
· Enjoy it!

Can you "catch something" by kissing?
Yes anything from a cold to a serious sexually transmitted disease. Kissing is not 100% safe so if you are concerned or worried ask your partner if they are ill and don't kiss them if you do not feel safe.

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Sunday, 28 October 2007

Getting Back Out There: Dating after Divorce Advice

Starting to date after a divorce can be difficult and awkward. This article offers dating after divorce advice to help you get over Mr. Wrong and start looking for Mr. Right.

Dating after Divorce Advice Tip1: Be Sure You Are Ready to DateFriends and family may encourage you to get right back in the saddle, but this may not be the right choice for you. Take the time you need to deal with the loss of your marriage. Even if you were the one who wanted the divorce, it is not unusual to experience some sadness and grief when the divorce actually goes through.

Dating after Divorce Advice Tip2: Try Some New ActivitiesMeeting a dating partner can be difficult. Chances are the right person for you won't turn up in the grocery store or at your hair stylist's, and last call bar pickups rarely blossom into anything good. Therefore, you need to get involved in activities that will allow you to meet and interact with new people. Attend a church social for singles, for instance, or take a few classes at the community college.

Dating after Divorce Advice Tip3: Take Your TimeDon't think of each date as a desperate attempt to enter a new relationship. Think of it as spending time with someone whose company you enjoy. If a romantic relationship emerges, nurture it carefully.

Dating after Divorce Advice Tip 4: KidsYour children do not need to meet every man that you date. You should only introduce a date to your children if the relationship has become serious. Beware of the date who wants to meet your family too quickly. He may need a reminder to slow down if he's rushing things. Or worse, he may have an inappropriate interest in your kids. Since some pedophiles do scope out single mothers, it's important to keep your radar up.

Dating after Divorce Advice Tip 5: SexIf you're used to having sex only with your (ex) husband, you may feel a little self-conscious and shy about your sexuality. Keep the lines of communication wide open. Try to tell your lover what feels good to you, and encourage him to say what feels good to him. If you're nervous about saying the words, you can guide his hand to the place where you want it, or let him know with cries and moans that he's doing a good thing. If you don't want children, remember to use some form of birth control, and always use condoms to prevent sexually transmitted diseases.

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Friday, 26 October 2007

ARE YOU TOO AVAILABLE?

Here is a truth, most single people are too available. Far too available when dating. Think about the things you aspire to, good clothes, expensive Italian car perhaps, Tiffany jewelry, Rolex watches, a 100 foot yacht. Whatever. The fact is the things we most want or desire in life are often the least accessible. Things are seen to be worthwhile because they are rare. Rarity is the key ingredient here. The less we can get hold of something, the more we want it after the initial need or feeling of desire is created. The unobtainable is oh so sweet, from the catwalk supermodel to Brad Pitt, we can dream but we cannot have. And that, my single friends is the point of this article.

When you date stop being so available, stop being at the end of a phone, stop being available 24 hours a day and start being elusive. Why? For the reasons I have just said. Create the need and then remove it and the desire factors go through the roof. The problem with following this brief piece of advice is that it is extremely difficult for mere single mortals to do. When we meet singles we really like we stop playing games, we want to be with them, we want to see them 24 hours a day, our waking hours are devoted to our next date. The problem is, our date may not see things the same way and soon boredom can set in. Worse, by being too available we cheapen our own attractiveness, we become far less rare, far more common and sadly far less desirable. So what we need to do is train our single selves to be enigmatic and elusive and stop being so available.

A single friend of mine worked in a bar in Manchester and was always attracting single girls but he never appeared to get anywhere after the first couple of dates. He is a lovely single guy and probably one of the most reliable single men I have ever met. He wanted to know why single women seemed to lose interest in him and stopped calling for dates so we performed an experiment. He was asked not to call the single women he dated, maybe once but after that let the women chase. They would leave messages, he didn't reply, if he did it was a while later. So they would pop into the bar to see him but he never offered to make new arrangements first. He maintained their interest levels and very soon he discovered that the single girls were now chasing him!

The point here was that he had become elusive, he had an air of mystery now, was someone the single girls wanted to get to know. He was a challenge. It has happened to me on numerous occasions that I have let myself become too available. I had to learn the hard way. I met a beautiful single girl whilst working in London and it appeared to be perfect from the moment we met, so much so that I threw my dating rules out of the window and we spent almost two full weeks together. Then all of a sudden it stopped. And she wanted to call things off. The fact was that I had become too available for her, I was there whenever she wanted, I had altered my routine too soon, too quickly and too much for things to work out.

Of course I was available for all the right reasons but it had completely the wrong effect. I lost the single girl. So when you meet someone you like, by all means get started down the dating path but ensure that you keep to your regular schedule and don't be available every day. If you are free both days of the weekend, one is for you, one is for your date. If you are free Tuesday and Thursday for dinner, let them know which is better for you. If they suggest Tuesday, you suggest Thursday. Don't call so frequently (which is extremely hard to do) and don't always answer your phone (yes really) and make sure that you can bring plenty of separate activity information back to your date when you do meet up.

For all the crazy forced separation, the dates you will have will be all the more spectacular. For many of you reading this you will think I am crazy or have misgivings about trying to do this and I bet that many of you won't listen when you meet the single person you are crazy about. The fact is, the less available you are to a degree, the more likely you will succeed in getting your Mr. Right or Miss.Right. Create the demand, become the diamond and then become as difficult top jewelers to get into, but sustain the desire factor - that's the way it works.

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Thursday, 25 October 2007

TOP DATING TIPS

I thought I would bring you the key dating tips I have gathered along the way in the hope of assisting and enlightening those single men and single women who need assistance. If you are new to the dating scene, a regular or just simply someone trying to meet someone new there should always be time for top dating tips, dating advice, information and things to consider. None of us are dating experts otherwise we would have a magic formula to present to others. And no, looks are not the magic formula otherwise all supermodels would be blissfully happy - which they are not my friend.

Good looking people the world over struggle when it comes to affairs of the heart. Think of all the major figures in history who have fallen in matters of romance. The truth is, there are no magic formulas, no perfect tricks of the trade, no cunning ways of trapping Mr. Right or Miss Right and no top dating tips that wave a magic wand. But there are some essential facts that you should always bear in mind along the way. Dating tips are just that - tips, they are not promises written in stone and different things will always work differently for different singles. However, I have noticed that there are some threads of dating advice that keep cropping up and therefore it is worth reiterating them here.

My Top Dating Tips

1) Get prepared for dating. If you really want to succeed in the dating game, decide who you are looking for, do your research and be ready to commit to dating. Half heartedness won't work. Also prepare for some let downs along the way but don't take dating too seriously either.

2) Get your act together. Begin a regime of looking your best. Join a gym, read health magazines, get fit and start a diet. Get your hair cut or styled and begin a new regime of good grooming or beauty treatment. Though it will not find you a date in itself, you will feel a million times more confident about yourself.

3) Go shopping and treat yourself to new clothes and even a whole new single look. Get your image right, one that you can manage and live with, but one that flatters you. Don't go overboard and look like someone you are not but maybe its time to throw out those tired jeans, old sweaters or cardigans and spruce yourself up. People appreciate appearance.

4) Have a good think about what your dating goals are and timescales. Do you see yourself married within 2 years? If you do then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid back and don't take dating too seriously then ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating and what you hope to achieve. If it is purely sex then ask yourself if you are about to be honest with those you hope to date.

5) Sort out your single confidence levels in advance. By following the first four tips you will feel better and be more focused. Do all the things that will boost your confidence from avoiding negative friends (often the married ones) to attending the right kind of social functions. Couples at dinner parties in suburbia is not necessarily where you need to be right now.

6) Choose those you have a good chance of dating, don't aim low but do aim realistically. In other words, your dating is based on the whole package you present as well as just your personality. If you are looking for a glamour girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous then good for you, but be prepared and be realistic about your chances.

7) Work out in advance where in your neighborhood you are likely to meet people . Join clubs, societies, sports events, drama groups, anything where you are likely to meet potential partners. The kind of partners you are looking for. I know its a cliché but you will not meet people by staying indoors.

8) Take time off from dating occasionally if its not going well or causing dating fatigue. Dating is an ongoing process and so recharging the batteries and keeping the confidence and optimism levels high is an absolute must. So date in phases if necessary.

9) Enjoy dating for what it is, dating. It is meeting people and socializing and spending time in the company of stimulating individuals who may or may not bring you a sparkle. The fact is, most people are interesting and whilst you may not be out there looking for new friends, you may well find one or two fabulous people along the way.

10) Never ever make yourself too available. People like mystery and enigma and the thrill of the chase when dating. In keeping with this do not sleep with your dates early on if you want them to progress, so keep sex until later. The longer a person is made to chase and fall for you within reason, the more likely that love may blossom. Peak too early and you have little left to offer and emotions may never have had the time to develop.

11) Do Join a quality Internet dating agency for free and do post a photo profile if possible. Take your time and check your mail occasionally. Even if you never date online at least it will boost your confidence and spirits and allow you to. Practise your opening lines and chat up skills. Internet dating is fun and secure and introduces you to the world of dating safely and gently.

Tuesday, 23 October 2007

PLACES TO DATE – FOR MEN

When faced with the prospect of dating ideas with someone new, it is always amazing how quickly one's mental creative energies normally nuclear fuelled take on the attributes of the Sahara Desert. Yes, Saturday and Sunday need to be filled as does Tuesday evening with person X and what have you thought of so far ? Zilch!Ironically, whilst our minds are buzzing with thousands of ideas they are usually all useless and not appropriate in this instance. Two weeks last Thursday you could have thought of flying to Niagara Falls for dinner, ballooning over Paris at dawn or swimming naked together by moonlight in your local pool. But two weeks later with new date on the phone and even worse heading to meet you after work and you can think of absolutely nothing at all.

Worse still, you have no preference and start using phrases like "no, that's fine, whatever you like, its up to you, you choose".Stop right there. There is a danger here of appearing completely useless and about to fall at the first hurdle so its time to pre-plan and get your thinking caps on. It’s time for dating ideas. Of course dating ideas differ depending on whether it is first date, second date or so on. Maybe you are hoping that the third date will be spent in bed but lets not get ahead of ourselves. For now we will stick to social functions and activities their parents would approve of.The key to dating in the early stages is keeping it manageable, relatively inexpensive, within easy travel proximity's and also within manageable timelines. Particularly on a first date, you may wish to leave early, or so may they. An exit plan for both guys and girls is always useful.

After the initial date the key to good dating ideas is to make them sociable, relaxed, fun, public and open-ended. Lets face it, why stop a date that is really going well. That is why I favor lunchtimes for first dates and afternoons for weekend second dates. Lunchtimes are good because they have predetermined time restrictions and can be abandoned if necessary with little harm done. Saturday afternoons are great for a second date because that allows both of you to over run if things are going really well.Dinner is often the case for a first date but its often too formal leading to too much social pressure.

Both parties feel obliged to finish the meal even if its going badly and there is always a decent sized bill to cap it all. It’s late in the day so parties may not sparkle as they normally would, there may be transport issues, darkness, alcohol, fatigue, dress and very importantly, the restaurant may not be to both tastes.So, with this in mind, here are some ideas for keeping things fun, real and enjoyable. Make your own list in advance of any dating for your own city so that you have some ideas in advance. Always have a good food guide and know some nice daytime places to visit. Oh and always avoid places where you can't chat, like the movies!

First Date
· Lunchtime convenient coffee shop
· Lunchtime restaurant
· Early evening restaurant

Second Date
· Weekend walk in the park and lunch
· Visit the Zoo and lunch· Ice skating - always a winner
· Indoor Bowling and dinner
· A ballgame or sports event and lunch
· Art Gallery and museums

Third Date
· Amusement and adventure park
· All day Water park - Summer !
· Visit the beach and lunch
· Include them in a sporting activity
· Visit a tourist attraction and take in drinks and dinner
· Theater and dinner
· Adventure Activity

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Monday, 22 October 2007

Romance has Gone Technological: SMS Flirt

Whether you are in a new or in an established relationship, in this technological age, chances are both of you have a cell phone. Cell phones are used for keeping in touch, so why not use the SMS feature on your cell phone for a little SMS flirting?

SMS Flirt With Your Long-Distance Sweetie

It has become more and more frequent for busy couples to have long-distance relationships with their girlfriends or boyfriends. These couples often don’t get to see each other for months at a time, and so they have to think of ways to keep their relationship exciting.

This is where SMS flirting comes in. Sometimes people don’t have enough time for a proper phone call, but they still want to express how they feel. With SMS flirting, you can leave a quick message, and you loved one can receive it quickly in between a busy day of meetings.

SMS Flirt “Just Because”

Sometime, people like to SMS flirt just because it is a fun alternative to having an actual phone conversation. With many different kinds of phones, a private conversation can easily be heard by those around you. Whereas, with SMS flirting, you can text whatever romantic thing you would like to say discreetly.

Things to Say When You SMS Flirt

The fun thing about SMS flirting is that there are so many ways to do so. You can just go by symbols, and make a happy face or a heart. Or, you can text simple phrases like “Hey Cutie,” or “Can’t wait to see you babe.”

To be really thoughtful and flirty, think of a private joke between you and your significant other, and just text one word that the person would, right away, know what that word was referring to. Or, text the date of an especially memorable time you two spent together, and follow it with a happy face. Either of these ideas are sure to make your significant other’s day!

So, if you think you might try SMS flirting, just be sure that your cell phone plan includes text messaging. Also, check to make sure that your significant other’s cell phone accepts text messages too! Whether it is for couples that are often apart, or those couples that just like to feel connected while they are away from each other for a short time, SMS flirting is fun!

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Sunday, 21 October 2007

FIRST FOUR WEEKS

Gosh, it doesn't get more unstable than this. You feel sick, you can't eat, you don't know what you are thinking and feeling, but you are thinking excessively. You feel happy, you feel sad, you feel unsettled, you worry, you are ecstatic. You want to panic and wish you had said no. What's happening to you? You are in your first four weeks of dating someone. The first thing that can happen with a date is that you feel trepidation before the event. You may have had lots of dates and expect little but are pleasantly surprised. You may have been building up to the date and its gone really well and you are surprised, pleasantly. You may actually feel unhappy and irritated that a first date went well because now you have to give some thought to the situation.

Initially then you need to decide if you are going to take it further or whether last night's promises and optimism has changed in the cold light of day. For almost everyone, however good or bad you will feel some trepidation, even if you are walking on the moon.For many, the days after a first date that went really well will make you feel great. You feel desired, attractive and you realize that someone really likes you who you are attracted to. But - until you have secured a second date you will still feel like you have got it all wrong and that you are mistaken. When that second date is finalized you will again feel great and this is a real test because this time you will be analyzing each other more thoroughly and testing each other in verbal interplay and emotional content in your conversation.

Your reliability and your wit will be tested as well as many other extremely subtle facets of your character. At this stage you most certainly should not have had sex!After the second date is where panic can set in. If you really like this person you will panic and worry that you can lose them before anything has even got going. On the other hand you may like them and panic that it could all be too much too soon and wish to run without finding out. So this is where disaster can begin to intervene on a perfect future. You can quickly come across as overbearing and possessive, even though you haven't got into a relationship yet. So stop calling and stop pondering and ensure you carry on as best you can with a routine.

In other words, back off and be cool. Take your time and stop panicking. If you are going to go out, then you will but don't rush it.If, on the other hand, you are simply not sure about looming intimacy then again take your time and be cool. The pleasure in the first few weeks of dating is in its turmoil and its passion but also in savoring every moment. In a long term relationship these are days hard to repeat so take in the atmosphere of knowing someone new and enjoy the encounters as they happen. A new relationship doesn't have to lead to marriage and commitment so stop thinking too much and simply enjoy your dates as they happen.

There will be many dilemmas in the first few weeks such as your first kiss, where you should go on dates, whether you should phone, what happens if they didn't call when expected, concern things are over already. The you will move on to whether you should invite them in for coffee, what happens if you want to go to bed with them or what happens as your emotions increase. Once again it is about trying to keep the basics in perspective. Your entire day-to-day life can be affected by beginning to like someone and fall in love so the only thing that gives you any structure is your regular daily pattern. Because of this it is crucial to keep as many things regular as possible. Try and sustain your daily regime, including clubs, hobbies and trips to the gym. However one of the beautiful aspects of this initial period is the breaking of that regime to find small intense emotional moments with your new friend.

People often ask me when a date becomes a relationship and I have answered that more fully in a different article but to my own mind the first 4 weeks are crucial in creating a basic foundation on which you can both develop into a relationships. You will have progressed from first date to hopefully the nth time. If you live close by you may have stopped counting by now. I can understand that circumstances may prevent regular dating for some, but I do think that if you are wanting a serious relationship to develop, proximity is helpful. In 4 weeks of dating you should have been dating plenty of times and be getting to know the beginnings of each other.
Where dating is very very slow then there is a danger it will never actually fire the main engines for lift off so I actively encourage people to make the most of the dating opportunities presented.

You see, when you really like someone, you want to be with them, you want to spend all your time with them to get to know them and understand them and learn to fall in love with them. For this to happen you have to meet very regularly to build up that level of intimacy otherwise you may be wasting your time.The first 4 weeks are critical as they are the testing time. If you get through this initial period you have a chance of building into a relationship. In my view it is too soon for sex if you are serious but too long for just a couple of meetings. It is the perfect time frame to know whether you are fairly compatible above and beyond the initial physical attraction. A month of dating is a month of happy events and phone calls and memories.

If in that period things aren't working out, then you can walk away with no harm done.You may feel sick and you may feel unsteady, but when we all look back and try and describe what being in love is like, most of us tend to remember the first four weeks when we met and use those feelings to describe how beautifully unsettling everything truly is.

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Friday, 19 October 2007

DATE TO MAKE FRIENDS

Dating is one of the best friend finders there is. I read recently some advice from an elder statesman who said that we should all try and make one new friend every five years. What excellent advice. When we are very young we collect friends like sweets. As we get older we lose some along the way kind of like natural wastage. We fall out and we fall in, we change and adapt and we end up with a core group of our best friends, usually quite small but reliable and close. I think it’s fair to say that most of us will never have more than a handful of extremely close friends as we grow older simply because it’s not possible to have very close relationships with so many people. Best friends require maintenance.Where dating comes into its own is in its simplest form - introducing us to new people.

We meet people on a one-to-one basis to chat and discuss and basically find out if we get on well enough to become friends. Dating often misses out on this aspect, the fact that to become lovers we should become friends too. It's not just about if we are attracted to their hair, face, breasts, legs etc. It's about how we get on, what we have in common, if we share the same belief systems, skills, laughs, humor, outlook, background and passions. If we do then this may well be the very basis for a great relationship.If that certain X factor is missing, we often discount the whole date as if to say well they weren't good enough to date so I will discount them completely. What we are missing here is the fact that in every other way we got on. We made a new friend. Then people will say, yes but I am not looking for another friend.

Well let me tell you my friend, we can all do with extra friends. Yes, okay, our closest friends are often our longest friends who we have shared everything with, but there may have been a time when we didn't know them either so who is to say. My point is that nice people are hard to find so let us not just discount people because they fell at the first hurdle.I am not suggesting that we gather every failed date as out next new closest buddy. I am suggesting that amongst all the singles you do date, there will be one of two people who may not be your ideal match, but who could be your ideal friend. So try and keep an open mind.

Maybe you can suggest that although you don't feel you would make it as a couple you would like to stay in touch and then actually do get in touch to do something. Make sure you have defined this as a fact and are clear though and don't string someone along and have them thinking there is some romance in the air.We must try and remember that one of the best facets of any perfect match is friendship. People often say that they would like to marry their best friend. In other words, your partner should also be your best friend. What we mean but that is that the concept of "best friend" means the person we can rely on, trust in full measure, turn to when in need and talk to about everything in the world. It is a beautiful notion and one that should be kept in mind.

Really, dating is all about making friends and then loving them even more than that. It is about forming close bonds in a fairly short space of time and then building upon them. This is why a purely sex or physical relationship doesn't often hold much long terms hope. It is surprising how many good friends also become lovers too. I have read some good true stories about people who had been best friends and went on to get married.I think these days that dating has become such a clinical and organized subject that the basic elements are in danger of being lost. To love someone you have to trust them. To trust them you need to open your heart to them very early on and take the risk included. Opening your heart means a willingness to trust.

It is a willingness to make that person your friend. Trust and friendship are the building blocks of every proper relationship and therefore there are no quick paths to eternal happiness. Date and find a friend. Make friends and then fall in love.

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