DATE TO MAKE FRIENDS
Dating is one of the best friend finders there is. I read recently some advice from an elder statesman who said that we should all try and make one new friend every five years. What excellent advice. When we are very young we collect friends like sweets. As we get older we lose some along the way kind of like natural wastage. We fall out and we fall in, we change and adapt and we end up with a core group of our best friends, usually quite small but reliable and close. I think it’s fair to say that most of us will never have more than a handful of extremely close friends as we grow older simply because it’s not possible to have very close relationships with so many people. Best friends require maintenance.
Where dating comes into its own is in its simplest form - introducing us to new people. We meet people on a one-to-one basis to chat and discuss and basically find out if we get on well enough to become friends. Dating often misses out on this aspect, the fact that to become lovers we should become friends too. It's not just about if we are attracted to their hair, face, breasts, legs etc. It's about how we get on, what we have in common, if we share the same belief systems, skills, laughs, humor, outlook, background and passions. If we do then this may well be the very basis for a great relationship.If that certain X factor is missing, we often discount the whole date as if to say well they weren't good enough to date so I will discount them completely. What we are missing here is the fact that in every other way we got on.
We made a new friend. Then people will say, yes but I am not looking for another friend. Well let me tell you my friend, we can all do with extra friends. Yes, okay, our closest friends are often our longest friends who we have shared everything with, but there may have been a time when we didn't know them either so who is to say. My point is that nice people are hard to find so let us not just discount people because they fell at the first hurdle.I am not suggesting that we gather every failed date as out next new closest buddy. I am suggesting that amongst all the singles you do date, there will be one of two people who may not be your ideal match, but who could be your ideal friend. So try and keep an open mind.
Maybe you can suggest that although you don't feel you would make it as a couple you would like to stay in touch and then actually do get in touch to do something. Make sure you have defined this as a fact and are clear though and don't string someone along and have them thinking there is some romance in the air.We must try and remember that one of the best facets of any perfect match is friendship. People often say that they would like to marry their best friend. In other words, your partner should also be your best friend. What we mean but that is that the concept of "best friend" means the person we can rely on, trust in full measure, turn to when in need and talk to about everything in the world.
It is a beautiful notion and one that should be kept in mind.Really, dating is all about making friends and then loving them even more than that. It is about forming close bonds in a fairly short space of time and then building upon them. This is why a purely sex or physical relationship doesn't often hold much long terms hope. It is surprising how many good friends also become lovers too. I have read some good true stories about people who had been best friends and went on to get married.I think these days that dating has become such a clinical and organized subject that the basic elements are in danger of being lost. To love someone you have to trust them.
To trust them you need to open your heart to them very early on and take the risk included. Opening your heart means a willingness to trust. It is a willingness to make that person your friend. Trust and friendship are the building blocks of every proper relationship and therefore there are no quick paths to eternal happiness. Date and find a friend. Make friends and then fall in love.
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Tuesday, 27 November 2007
Monday, 26 November 2007
OUR DATING REGRETS
I decided to take a survey of good single friends and find out what kind of regrets single men and single women had when dating. Dating Regrets took on many different forms in their varied answers but I thought it was interesting to ask because it often highlights dating issues we often forget to mention. As with many of my surveys, the results are haphazard but are useful in pointing out that no single men or single women are alone in the mistakes that occur in our dating lives.
Here follows are a mind boggling catalogue of dating disasters that we singles should bear in mind as lessons learned.
1. In top spot - dating a married person.
Man or woman, it makes no difference. In every version the story was the same, dating a married person was a complete disaster. Not withstanding the lies, deceit, regret, cheating and false promises, on NO occasion did anyone I asked have a good outcome for their married affairs. This was one good example of how to waste your years waiting for someone who will never leave; sharing your loved one with someone else and spending thousands of dollars on stolen moments and brief weekends where you were not the only person on their mind. Avoid like the plague unless you want to lose all the dignity you ever had.
2. Amazingly not marrying your childhood sweetheart was number 2.
It appears there are a lot of single people who have spent years wishing they had married the person of their dreams when they had the chance. Unfortunately this often tends to be your childhood sweetheart or first love at college. At the time you are too young and there are too many other fish in the sea. In later years you have used them as a bench mark of the minimal level of romance required for potential partners and never quite match it. This leads to a feeling of making do with second best. In turn you start hankering for the girl or boy from all those years ago.
3. Not asking someone out on a date when the offer was there.
This is a biggie because we are dealing with the eternal niggling "what if.." question. This tends to come out as a regret at a time when other things are not going well and you find yourself fantasizing. What if you had asked him out. What if you had said yes to that date. What if you had got married and had children. It seems that not asking someone out can leave a long term legacy. Just look at the popularity of reunion sites on the Internet just now.
4. Not ending a bad relationship earlier.
Yes lot of us listed this one. There are many of us who have entered into a relationship willingly only to discover to our cost that the relationship wasn't all it could be. Whilst the door was only over there we chose for many a reason not to walk out of it. Whilst perhaps a worthy concept in itself it does none of us a service. The fact is, too many of us have stayed in long term relationships that were not good for ourselves and our partners. If only we had had the courage at the time.
5. Dating the wrong person for the wrong reasons.
Maybe for sex, for appearance, for contacts, for business reasons or even out of sympathy. It appears that there are plenty of people out there who have dated people for the wrong reasons and lived to regret it. This has to be balanced against hindsight. Looking back it is obvious which people we perhaps should never have dated but there are plenty of us who dated the wrong person at the time and knew we were doing it. No excuse.
6. Putting your career first and waiting too long.
Oh yes, this is a modern classic. Our current society has a problem in that a third of all adults are now single - and growing. The most commonly sited reason is that we put our career first, especially through out 20's and then begin seriously dating in our 30's when we feel ready. The problem is that we are not as young as we were, not as attractive as when we were 21 in many cases, our body clocks are ticking at a deafening volume and all the best catches have been snapped up. A great many of us appear to be wishing we had sorted out our love lives earlier. Be warned.
7. Leaving someone you were in love with.
I don't have the answers but it cropped up quite a few times in my survey and could be tied in with point 2. People in love have left and seem to struggle to find an explanation. All too often the decision was regretted very quickly only to find that the rejected partner had closed and bolted the door and you were never going to be allowed back. Infidelity is the primary cause, or more to the point, getting caught. If you love someone stay with them faithfully appears to be the lesson here.
8. Not being the nice person you could have been.
Treating someone badly in a relationship always comes back to haunt you if you are the guilty party, however empowering it may have felt at the time. As we grow older we list mentally those we could have been nicer too and I am amazed how many of us confess we could have been nicer people to our lovers. I am not talking about physical violence though we all accept that it does exist within our society. No I simply mean being courteous, kind, remembering birthdays and anniversaries, buying flowers, compromising, going on holidays and being romantic and spontaneous. We live and learn and later regret is clearly the message.
9. Dumping someone in a callous and bad way.
I have done it and I have had it done to me and I regret both happening. When young it was easy to love and leave and I never thought anything of it. As I grew older I had it done to me by someone I loved and it broke my heart. I don't think we every do get over being left in a bad way - no explanation, no reasons given. One day it's fine, the next day you're gone. Dumping via email, texting or phone should be made cardinal sins and it appears from my survey that many of us regret doing just that.
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I decided to take a survey of good single friends and find out what kind of regrets single men and single women had when dating. Dating Regrets took on many different forms in their varied answers but I thought it was interesting to ask because it often highlights dating issues we often forget to mention. As with many of my surveys, the results are haphazard but are useful in pointing out that no single men or single women are alone in the mistakes that occur in our dating lives.
Here follows are a mind boggling catalogue of dating disasters that we singles should bear in mind as lessons learned.
1. In top spot - dating a married person.
Man or woman, it makes no difference. In every version the story was the same, dating a married person was a complete disaster. Not withstanding the lies, deceit, regret, cheating and false promises, on NO occasion did anyone I asked have a good outcome for their married affairs. This was one good example of how to waste your years waiting for someone who will never leave; sharing your loved one with someone else and spending thousands of dollars on stolen moments and brief weekends where you were not the only person on their mind. Avoid like the plague unless you want to lose all the dignity you ever had.
2. Amazingly not marrying your childhood sweetheart was number 2.
It appears there are a lot of single people who have spent years wishing they had married the person of their dreams when they had the chance. Unfortunately this often tends to be your childhood sweetheart or first love at college. At the time you are too young and there are too many other fish in the sea. In later years you have used them as a bench mark of the minimal level of romance required for potential partners and never quite match it. This leads to a feeling of making do with second best. In turn you start hankering for the girl or boy from all those years ago.
3. Not asking someone out on a date when the offer was there.
This is a biggie because we are dealing with the eternal niggling "what if.." question. This tends to come out as a regret at a time when other things are not going well and you find yourself fantasizing. What if you had asked him out. What if you had said yes to that date. What if you had got married and had children. It seems that not asking someone out can leave a long term legacy. Just look at the popularity of reunion sites on the Internet just now.
4. Not ending a bad relationship earlier.
Yes lot of us listed this one. There are many of us who have entered into a relationship willingly only to discover to our cost that the relationship wasn't all it could be. Whilst the door was only over there we chose for many a reason not to walk out of it. Whilst perhaps a worthy concept in itself it does none of us a service. The fact is, too many of us have stayed in long term relationships that were not good for ourselves and our partners. If only we had had the courage at the time.
5. Dating the wrong person for the wrong reasons.
Maybe for sex, for appearance, for contacts, for business reasons or even out of sympathy. It appears that there are plenty of people out there who have dated people for the wrong reasons and lived to regret it. This has to be balanced against hindsight. Looking back it is obvious which people we perhaps should never have dated but there are plenty of us who dated the wrong person at the time and knew we were doing it. No excuse.
6. Putting your career first and waiting too long.
Oh yes, this is a modern classic. Our current society has a problem in that a third of all adults are now single - and growing. The most commonly sited reason is that we put our career first, especially through out 20's and then begin seriously dating in our 30's when we feel ready. The problem is that we are not as young as we were, not as attractive as when we were 21 in many cases, our body clocks are ticking at a deafening volume and all the best catches have been snapped up. A great many of us appear to be wishing we had sorted out our love lives earlier. Be warned.
7. Leaving someone you were in love with.
I don't have the answers but it cropped up quite a few times in my survey and could be tied in with point 2. People in love have left and seem to struggle to find an explanation. All too often the decision was regretted very quickly only to find that the rejected partner had closed and bolted the door and you were never going to be allowed back. Infidelity is the primary cause, or more to the point, getting caught. If you love someone stay with them faithfully appears to be the lesson here.
8. Not being the nice person you could have been.
Treating someone badly in a relationship always comes back to haunt you if you are the guilty party, however empowering it may have felt at the time. As we grow older we list mentally those we could have been nicer too and I am amazed how many of us confess we could have been nicer people to our lovers. I am not talking about physical violence though we all accept that it does exist within our society. No I simply mean being courteous, kind, remembering birthdays and anniversaries, buying flowers, compromising, going on holidays and being romantic and spontaneous. We live and learn and later regret is clearly the message.
9. Dumping someone in a callous and bad way.
I have done it and I have had it done to me and I regret both happening. When young it was easy to love and leave and I never thought anything of it. As I grew older I had it done to me by someone I loved and it broke my heart. I don't think we every do get over being left in a bad way - no explanation, no reasons given. One day it's fine, the next day you're gone. Dumping via email, texting or phone should be made cardinal sins and it appears from my survey that many of us regret doing just that.
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Sunday, 25 November 2007
ONLINE DATING TIPS
At Lets Get Together , we are here to help you be successful in dating and meeting new friends. It's what we do best. We want to take this opportunity of providing you with some hints and tips on helping you date safely, and successfully find that special person. You may wish to make and meet a new friend. Your main interest may be in dating online or dating in person, you may wish to find love and romance, perhaps the person you dream of marrying. It could be that you wish to travel or play sport or an activity and need a companion or other activity partner to come along.
The key to meeting new friends is to have fun, relax and enjoy. http://www.lets-get-together.co.uk/is an excellent example of a dating site environment in which you can do these things safely and without any pressure. If you decide to meet someone there or in the outside world, then we feel there are some basic ideas you should follow for your personal comfort.
Of course, they cannot take responsibility for your actions using their services, as you are all adults, but they can offer some advice based on our own experiences.
Okay, so what can you do to help yourself?First you need to get replies to your emails and messages. To do this here are some tips you may find helpful:-Think about how your profile is written. Ensure there are NO spelling mistakes in your My Own Words section and your emails and messages. This is the first important rule.
Keep your description short but be completely honest. If you are not being truthful then when you meet, you will be discovered, if not before.Add fun and humour to your profile, and don't be too serious at first.Don't be afraid to state who you wish to meet and why. Most adults know the kind of person they are attracted to, even if they are not sure why.Tell people what you like and perhaps things you don't. Don't be offensive though.
Take your time, you can edit your profile at Lets Get Together at any time. Change it occasionally to keep it fresh, and try to be original.Add a photo to your profile. We find that a member with a photo can get anything up to 9 times the amount of replies, in comparison with those that do not include one.Be polite with messaging, and don’t make judgments about the length of time to get a reply.
Please don’t feel you need to block someone just because they are too busy to chat this time. Be cool.
Keep your first email short and to the point, perhaps humorous and interesting. Don't include too much detail at this point, and just a few things that you have in common. Make the email talkative and allow it to flow. Don't be too serious at this stage or too emotional.Do NOT include you personal details in an introduction email. Leave that until a relationship is established, and you feel very comfortable with the other person.
Try and contact a few people at the same time, but always those who you have matched, not those who you have nothing in common with as they will not welcome your contact.Be honest and stick to the truth. It is all too easy to add things that at this stage are not checkable.
However, you may get caught out later and ruin a fantastic friendship or romance.Always reply quite quickly to any messages.Don't talk about money or possessions at this time. Most people like or love someone for who they are, not what they have. We assume you do not want to find someone who simply wants you for what you can provide.Do not apply any form of pressure in an email, whether it be for a reply or a meeting. Do not be critical of their profile or photo. This will create a negative response.
Okay, so once you have mailed other members and are receiving their emails, then you may wish to consider the following:-
Ensure Your Privacy is Protected
The information you supply when you register at dating sites like Lets Get Together is completely confidential. Your registration details are kept secret from all members and under no circumstances are made available to any third party. No member of staff should ever ask you for your password. They must NOT use your contact or email details for marketing purposes. Any member who matches you in their searches can only see what you have told them in terms of your personal profile, nothing more. Therefore, remember not to include you actual email address or telephone number in the text of your profile or in emails unless you are sure that you would like to take your friendship further. Dating sites generally cannot access your emails and do not have any control on what information you supply to another member. If someone you are in contact with is not giving much away then perhaps you should err on the side of caution.
Listen to Your Intuition
Often overlooked I feel. This is the thing we all use on a daily basis and we all trust our intuition often. It’s easy to get carried away when someone appears to be interested. Remember the rule, if you suspect something, you are probably correct. Trust your judgment. Listen to what you are being told. Ask many questions. Don't give too many details away if the other person tells you very little. If someone is being honest, they will be happy to tell you about themselves and their lives.
A key point is to make sure that you are enjoying your online dating. Never ever let someone pressure you. If you don't want to explain something or provide certain details then do not. A real friend will behave in a patient and relaxed way. After receiving an email, sit back and think about what you are being told, take your time and try and sense the person behind the email. And read their profile thoroughly.
When the Time Comes
At some point you may wish to meet in person the friend you have made. Remember the rule, you only have to meet someone if you really want to. If you feel uncomfortable about meeting, then don't agree to meet. Even if you have agreed, you can change your mind whenever you like. Perhaps you need to chat for longer, perhaps it would be better to use the phone first. Do not give out your home number, address, or personal details unless you are sure about the person you wish to meet.
If you do decide it's time to take your friendship a step further, then here are some things to think about. It may save you a great deal of time and effort: -
Ask yourself these questions:Do you feel you know the person well?Have they answered all your question?Are they patient, good humored and fun?Do you trust them?Have they applied any pressure on you?Do you know what they do for a living, and the area they live in?Do you know about their background and family?Have you seen their photo and have you more than one photo of them in different situations?Have you spoken on the phone?Are you sure they have described themselves truthfully?
If you can answer YES to these happily then maybe it is time to meet. Only you can decide that. Think about these general dating rules, and act upon them if you think they are a good idea :-Tell a person close to you about the meeting. Tell them where you are going, when you are meeting them, where the meeting will take place, what time you will be returning. Give a person close to you as much information as you can. If you have a mobile phone or are close to a pay phone then perhaps call to say you are fine and that everything is great.
Agree to meet in a public place first. Perhaps a restaurant or bar or somewhere where there are plenty of other people. Agree to meet somewhere that you know, in familiar surroundings where you can relax and enjoy the meeting. You could arrange to have other friends in the same place but at a distance, so you feel more relaxed.
Do not agree to be collected from work or home, and make your own way there and home on the first occasion. Perhaps get a friend to take you there and collect you afterwards.Restrict the time of the first meeting. Perhaps a lunch hour or a short time after work. This is useful if you decide that the situation is not favorable and you need to leave.
If at any point you wish to leave then do so. Do not feel obliged to stay and find yourself feeling awkward. If you do not feel relaxed then you will not enjoy the date. You owe it to yourself to feel happy and relaxed, and it is possible that it may take a few meetings with different people before you find that special person.
Long Distance Relationships
Online Dating through sites like Lets Get Together means that you can easily meet people from all over the world. This is a fantastic way of dating and perhaps very soon you may find yourself emotionally involved with someone who lives a long way away. Perhaps that may be part of the attraction even. However you should try and be practical. If the person lives overseas then ask yourself the question as to are you serious that you will travel a long way to see that person? If you do travel and find yourself more than happy, then how easy will it be to keep up the relationship? If you are content with this situation, and you decide to meet then there are some other things you may wish to consider:
ALWAYS stay in a hotel you have arrangedyourself, and never stay at their accommodation, however generous. This will allow you both to feel less pressure, to relax into the situation and find some common ground. You may have both made promises in mail or on the phone that may be harder to keep once a meeting has occurred. If possible, arrange the hotel in a secure area of the city you are visiting, and arrange the hotel yourself. It's always easier to escape a date that's not going well, when not staying with them.Provide the details of your hotel and travel arrangements to a best friend at home, and make an arrangement to contact them when you arrive, after you have met your new friend and when you are returning. Take a mobile phone if possible and keep in contact.
Always be cautious if in any doubt, and never be uncomfortable about changing your mind and returning home at any time should the situation cause you any concern.
The Bottom Line
The bottom line? Be yourself and enjoy your dating. We know that online dating can be great fun, safe and immensely enjoyable. We have found that as long as the basic precautions are followed, then it is possible to travel locally, or indeed, anywhere in the world to meet a special partner or make new friends. The beauty of dating online is that the whole world is open to allow you to meet fantastic new people. Just use a little intuition and common sense. We hope you don't mind us offering some basic tips and wish you every success.
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At Lets Get Together , we are here to help you be successful in dating and meeting new friends. It's what we do best. We want to take this opportunity of providing you with some hints and tips on helping you date safely, and successfully find that special person. You may wish to make and meet a new friend. Your main interest may be in dating online or dating in person, you may wish to find love and romance, perhaps the person you dream of marrying. It could be that you wish to travel or play sport or an activity and need a companion or other activity partner to come along.
The key to meeting new friends is to have fun, relax and enjoy. http://www.lets-get-together.co.uk/is an excellent example of a dating site environment in which you can do these things safely and without any pressure. If you decide to meet someone there or in the outside world, then we feel there are some basic ideas you should follow for your personal comfort.
Of course, they cannot take responsibility for your actions using their services, as you are all adults, but they can offer some advice based on our own experiences.
Okay, so what can you do to help yourself?First you need to get replies to your emails and messages. To do this here are some tips you may find helpful:-Think about how your profile is written. Ensure there are NO spelling mistakes in your My Own Words section and your emails and messages. This is the first important rule.
Keep your description short but be completely honest. If you are not being truthful then when you meet, you will be discovered, if not before.Add fun and humour to your profile, and don't be too serious at first.Don't be afraid to state who you wish to meet and why. Most adults know the kind of person they are attracted to, even if they are not sure why.Tell people what you like and perhaps things you don't. Don't be offensive though.
Take your time, you can edit your profile at Lets Get Together at any time. Change it occasionally to keep it fresh, and try to be original.Add a photo to your profile. We find that a member with a photo can get anything up to 9 times the amount of replies, in comparison with those that do not include one.Be polite with messaging, and don’t make judgments about the length of time to get a reply.
Please don’t feel you need to block someone just because they are too busy to chat this time. Be cool.
Keep your first email short and to the point, perhaps humorous and interesting. Don't include too much detail at this point, and just a few things that you have in common. Make the email talkative and allow it to flow. Don't be too serious at this stage or too emotional.Do NOT include you personal details in an introduction email. Leave that until a relationship is established, and you feel very comfortable with the other person.
Try and contact a few people at the same time, but always those who you have matched, not those who you have nothing in common with as they will not welcome your contact.Be honest and stick to the truth. It is all too easy to add things that at this stage are not checkable.
However, you may get caught out later and ruin a fantastic friendship or romance.Always reply quite quickly to any messages.Don't talk about money or possessions at this time. Most people like or love someone for who they are, not what they have. We assume you do not want to find someone who simply wants you for what you can provide.Do not apply any form of pressure in an email, whether it be for a reply or a meeting. Do not be critical of their profile or photo. This will create a negative response.
Okay, so once you have mailed other members and are receiving their emails, then you may wish to consider the following:-
Ensure Your Privacy is Protected
The information you supply when you register at dating sites like Lets Get Together is completely confidential. Your registration details are kept secret from all members and under no circumstances are made available to any third party. No member of staff should ever ask you for your password. They must NOT use your contact or email details for marketing purposes. Any member who matches you in their searches can only see what you have told them in terms of your personal profile, nothing more. Therefore, remember not to include you actual email address or telephone number in the text of your profile or in emails unless you are sure that you would like to take your friendship further. Dating sites generally cannot access your emails and do not have any control on what information you supply to another member. If someone you are in contact with is not giving much away then perhaps you should err on the side of caution.
Listen to Your Intuition
Often overlooked I feel. This is the thing we all use on a daily basis and we all trust our intuition often. It’s easy to get carried away when someone appears to be interested. Remember the rule, if you suspect something, you are probably correct. Trust your judgment. Listen to what you are being told. Ask many questions. Don't give too many details away if the other person tells you very little. If someone is being honest, they will be happy to tell you about themselves and their lives.
A key point is to make sure that you are enjoying your online dating. Never ever let someone pressure you. If you don't want to explain something or provide certain details then do not. A real friend will behave in a patient and relaxed way. After receiving an email, sit back and think about what you are being told, take your time and try and sense the person behind the email. And read their profile thoroughly.
When the Time Comes
At some point you may wish to meet in person the friend you have made. Remember the rule, you only have to meet someone if you really want to. If you feel uncomfortable about meeting, then don't agree to meet. Even if you have agreed, you can change your mind whenever you like. Perhaps you need to chat for longer, perhaps it would be better to use the phone first. Do not give out your home number, address, or personal details unless you are sure about the person you wish to meet.
If you do decide it's time to take your friendship a step further, then here are some things to think about. It may save you a great deal of time and effort: -
Ask yourself these questions:Do you feel you know the person well?Have they answered all your question?Are they patient, good humored and fun?Do you trust them?Have they applied any pressure on you?Do you know what they do for a living, and the area they live in?Do you know about their background and family?Have you seen their photo and have you more than one photo of them in different situations?Have you spoken on the phone?Are you sure they have described themselves truthfully?
If you can answer YES to these happily then maybe it is time to meet. Only you can decide that. Think about these general dating rules, and act upon them if you think they are a good idea :-Tell a person close to you about the meeting. Tell them where you are going, when you are meeting them, where the meeting will take place, what time you will be returning. Give a person close to you as much information as you can. If you have a mobile phone or are close to a pay phone then perhaps call to say you are fine and that everything is great.
Agree to meet in a public place first. Perhaps a restaurant or bar or somewhere where there are plenty of other people. Agree to meet somewhere that you know, in familiar surroundings where you can relax and enjoy the meeting. You could arrange to have other friends in the same place but at a distance, so you feel more relaxed.
Do not agree to be collected from work or home, and make your own way there and home on the first occasion. Perhaps get a friend to take you there and collect you afterwards.Restrict the time of the first meeting. Perhaps a lunch hour or a short time after work. This is useful if you decide that the situation is not favorable and you need to leave.
If at any point you wish to leave then do so. Do not feel obliged to stay and find yourself feeling awkward. If you do not feel relaxed then you will not enjoy the date. You owe it to yourself to feel happy and relaxed, and it is possible that it may take a few meetings with different people before you find that special person.
Long Distance Relationships
Online Dating through sites like Lets Get Together means that you can easily meet people from all over the world. This is a fantastic way of dating and perhaps very soon you may find yourself emotionally involved with someone who lives a long way away. Perhaps that may be part of the attraction even. However you should try and be practical. If the person lives overseas then ask yourself the question as to are you serious that you will travel a long way to see that person? If you do travel and find yourself more than happy, then how easy will it be to keep up the relationship? If you are content with this situation, and you decide to meet then there are some other things you may wish to consider:
ALWAYS stay in a hotel you have arrangedyourself, and never stay at their accommodation, however generous. This will allow you both to feel less pressure, to relax into the situation and find some common ground. You may have both made promises in mail or on the phone that may be harder to keep once a meeting has occurred. If possible, arrange the hotel in a secure area of the city you are visiting, and arrange the hotel yourself. It's always easier to escape a date that's not going well, when not staying with them.Provide the details of your hotel and travel arrangements to a best friend at home, and make an arrangement to contact them when you arrive, after you have met your new friend and when you are returning. Take a mobile phone if possible and keep in contact.
Always be cautious if in any doubt, and never be uncomfortable about changing your mind and returning home at any time should the situation cause you any concern.
The Bottom Line
The bottom line? Be yourself and enjoy your dating. We know that online dating can be great fun, safe and immensely enjoyable. We have found that as long as the basic precautions are followed, then it is possible to travel locally, or indeed, anywhere in the world to meet a special partner or make new friends. The beauty of dating online is that the whole world is open to allow you to meet fantastic new people. Just use a little intuition and common sense. We hope you don't mind us offering some basic tips and wish you every success.
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Thursday, 22 November 2007
HOW TO WRITE A LOVE LETTER
Think back to the most romantic love letters you ever received. Were they short, full of practical advice, with suggestions for improvement?Hardly! Most likely, they overflowed with romantic feeling, offering praise, reflecting on a shared past, and looking forward to future togetherness.
If you're stumped about what to write someone you love, here are some ideas to help you spice up your letters:
1. Use terms of endearment or personal meaning. If the two of you use special nicknames for each other, include them in your letter. Or try out some new sweet names that suggest your loved one's characteristics or personality. Don't stop with using such terms in the greeting; mention them occasionally throughout the letter in expressions like these:"My dear Janice" (rather than "Dear Janice")"It's been a long week without my dear one...""Your amber eyes are often in my thoughts."
2. Reflect on the past. Mention special times the two of you shared, whether it was when you met, how you courted, conflicts you overcame, or celebrations you've shared. A common history is a hallmark of longevity and helps to bond a couple over time. You may want to remind the loved one of certain people you used to visit or events you attended together. Make your letter a bit nostalgic to rouse the reader's sentiment.
3. Celebrate the present. Talking about current events makes them more real, even when you cannot be together to enjoy them. Describe recent times you spent together, even if they were simple things like raking leaves or sipping iced tea on the front porch. Everyday memories have a special magic of their own when shared with someone we care deeply about. Putting them into words that remain permanently etched in writing give them a memorable quality that helps to brand them in both writer and reader's memory for future reflection. Here's an example:"Do you remember last summer when we had that argument about country music while in the car? I noticed how pretty you looked, your cheeks on fire, your eyes aflame, when you spoke with such passion! I loved you then, and even more now, despite any disagreements we may have."
4. Anticipate the future. Write about planned events or long-term goals that the two of you can share. Whether it's about saving money or going on a cruise, the very notion of working toward a mutual cause will bring the two of you closer even in writing:"I really appreciate your giving up coffee mochas to save for our Alaska cruise next year. I can tell this means a lot to you, and I can't wait for us to share this adventure together. My contribution is giving up commercial car washes; I'll wash the Chevy myself from now on. Every little bit helps!"
5. Close with a romantic conclusion. The last words you write may well be the ones that are longest remembered. Include tender expressions of your affection, a physical caress indicated in words, and the hope of being reunited soon. The letter becomes a guarantee of your regard and a promise of continued commitment.
6. Use attractive stationery. Get a pretty card or nice-looking paper with matching envelopes for your note. Hand-write it if possible. Keep it clean and folded neatly. Mail it promptly, so you don't forget or lose it.Writing a love letter does not have to be difficult. It just takes a few minutes of thoughtful concern to put into words the sincere feelings that lodge in your heart.
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Think back to the most romantic love letters you ever received. Were they short, full of practical advice, with suggestions for improvement?Hardly! Most likely, they overflowed with romantic feeling, offering praise, reflecting on a shared past, and looking forward to future togetherness.
If you're stumped about what to write someone you love, here are some ideas to help you spice up your letters:
1. Use terms of endearment or personal meaning. If the two of you use special nicknames for each other, include them in your letter. Or try out some new sweet names that suggest your loved one's characteristics or personality. Don't stop with using such terms in the greeting; mention them occasionally throughout the letter in expressions like these:"My dear Janice" (rather than "Dear Janice")"It's been a long week without my dear one...""Your amber eyes are often in my thoughts."
2. Reflect on the past. Mention special times the two of you shared, whether it was when you met, how you courted, conflicts you overcame, or celebrations you've shared. A common history is a hallmark of longevity and helps to bond a couple over time. You may want to remind the loved one of certain people you used to visit or events you attended together. Make your letter a bit nostalgic to rouse the reader's sentiment.
3. Celebrate the present. Talking about current events makes them more real, even when you cannot be together to enjoy them. Describe recent times you spent together, even if they were simple things like raking leaves or sipping iced tea on the front porch. Everyday memories have a special magic of their own when shared with someone we care deeply about. Putting them into words that remain permanently etched in writing give them a memorable quality that helps to brand them in both writer and reader's memory for future reflection. Here's an example:"Do you remember last summer when we had that argument about country music while in the car? I noticed how pretty you looked, your cheeks on fire, your eyes aflame, when you spoke with such passion! I loved you then, and even more now, despite any disagreements we may have."
4. Anticipate the future. Write about planned events or long-term goals that the two of you can share. Whether it's about saving money or going on a cruise, the very notion of working toward a mutual cause will bring the two of you closer even in writing:"I really appreciate your giving up coffee mochas to save for our Alaska cruise next year. I can tell this means a lot to you, and I can't wait for us to share this adventure together. My contribution is giving up commercial car washes; I'll wash the Chevy myself from now on. Every little bit helps!"
5. Close with a romantic conclusion. The last words you write may well be the ones that are longest remembered. Include tender expressions of your affection, a physical caress indicated in words, and the hope of being reunited soon. The letter becomes a guarantee of your regard and a promise of continued commitment.
6. Use attractive stationery. Get a pretty card or nice-looking paper with matching envelopes for your note. Hand-write it if possible. Keep it clean and folded neatly. Mail it promptly, so you don't forget or lose it.Writing a love letter does not have to be difficult. It just takes a few minutes of thoughtful concern to put into words the sincere feelings that lodge in your heart.
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Monday, 12 November 2007
DATING ESSENTIALS FOR MEN
When going out on a date there are some basics that are worth listing in a quick list to cover the essentials. Whilst we all know this stuff, it is always worth reminding ourselves, as single men, how to get the foundations right.
Bathe
This may sound cheeky but the worst thing you could do when going out on a date (especially if it is your first date with her) is to turn up unshaven, looking dirty and smelling. Single women are the cleaner of the species and will judge you on how hygienic you are, after all, you would be appalled if she turned up for the date looking like a hippy that hadn’t bathed for a while. It doesn’t cost to take a bath and make an effort. Remember bad breath and body odor are an instant turn off and she will assume that this is how you are all the time. Even if you are just having a bad day (hey, single girls have bad hair days all the time) she won’t see beyond your appearance - fickle, but true!
Arrive on Time
The worst thing you can do on your date is turn up late! Turning up late will send out all the wrong impressions that you definitely don’t want her to think. Single women always assume the worst and one of the worst is turning up late. Not only will your date think that she has been stood up, but will also think that you are unreliable. If you are picking your date up from her home, then it is advisable to turn up 5 minute before you are due. Any earlier and she will be adjusting her make up, or still getting ready and won’t want you to see her half finished. Turning up late... well just don’t!
Be a Gentleman
Hold the door open for your date, let your date walk through the door first, pull out her chair, be polite to her and the people around you. Single women like to feel special and by treating her like a lady she will think you are fantastic.
Compliment Her
The first thing to say to your date is "you look beautiful" before you even ask how she is. Keep the compliments flowing throughout your date, such as "your hair looks nice, I like the colour of it, your eyes are very sparkly" etc.. But do not go overboard! A single woman loves to be complimented, feel sexy, gorgeous and beautiful. However, most important of all, she needs to feel you are attracted to her.
Listen to Her and Ask Questions
Nobody wants to spend the whole night listening to someone talk about themselves, or not listening to what the other person is saying. But you do have to get to know each other. Ask your date questions, but more importantly listen to what she has to say. There is nothing more that a single woman likes than when someone is interested in what they have to say.I remember once I was sitting in a restaurant waiting for some friends. There was a single man and single woman sitting at the table next to mine and I couldn’t help overhearing their conversation (rather him talking about himself). I could tell it was their first date from what he was telling her about himself. "I play Saturday league football, I like boxing".... He went on like this for about 10 minutes without stopping, or asking her questions. She was just sitting there nodding slightly every so often, and looking bored. That day left an impact on me, and every time I have been on a date since, I have been conscious of the woman, and took an interest in what she had to say. This is probably the best bit of advice I could give.
Prepare
The last thing you want is to be sitting having a meal and the conversation dries up, and you are left for the rest of the night bored with each other. Think about your date and what you would like to know about her, and in return what you would like her to know about you. Try and think of any questions that she might ask you, so that you can prepare the answer. You think that it is easy to talk, and that you will not run out of questions to ask, or that you will automatically have the answers. But until you are there, and in the situation, you have no idea what it will be like. You can avoid all of this by meeting for a quick drink, then go on to see a film, so at least you will have something to talk about.
Who Will Pay?
This is a really tough question, as now single women are more independent and like to pay their way. I suggest that you offer to pay and if she lets you, pay. If she wants to pay, you can argue that you want to at least pay for half the bill. If she offers to split again, you can argue (that is if you want to), but if she insists on splitting then let her pay half.
The Goodnight Kiss
Some single women prefer not to kiss after a date; others are disappointed if the single guy doesn't even try. There is no easy answer to this. The only answer I can come up with is; wait until either she makes the first move, or that you both know when you are ready. Watch out for body language and little touches, but I would not advise sex on the first date unless she wants to.
I'll Call You
Only tell her that you will call her if you mean it, and intend on dating her again. This is an awkward situation, and most of the time the easiest solution is, to take her number and tell her you will call her, but don’t if you are not interested. When saying good-bye just say, "It was nice meeting you" and wish her luck or you could just say good night, smile, and walk away. But if you do like her and are interested, then you have to let her know.
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When going out on a date there are some basics that are worth listing in a quick list to cover the essentials. Whilst we all know this stuff, it is always worth reminding ourselves, as single men, how to get the foundations right.
Bathe
This may sound cheeky but the worst thing you could do when going out on a date (especially if it is your first date with her) is to turn up unshaven, looking dirty and smelling. Single women are the cleaner of the species and will judge you on how hygienic you are, after all, you would be appalled if she turned up for the date looking like a hippy that hadn’t bathed for a while. It doesn’t cost to take a bath and make an effort. Remember bad breath and body odor are an instant turn off and she will assume that this is how you are all the time. Even if you are just having a bad day (hey, single girls have bad hair days all the time) she won’t see beyond your appearance - fickle, but true!
Arrive on Time
The worst thing you can do on your date is turn up late! Turning up late will send out all the wrong impressions that you definitely don’t want her to think. Single women always assume the worst and one of the worst is turning up late. Not only will your date think that she has been stood up, but will also think that you are unreliable. If you are picking your date up from her home, then it is advisable to turn up 5 minute before you are due. Any earlier and she will be adjusting her make up, or still getting ready and won’t want you to see her half finished. Turning up late... well just don’t!
Be a Gentleman
Hold the door open for your date, let your date walk through the door first, pull out her chair, be polite to her and the people around you. Single women like to feel special and by treating her like a lady she will think you are fantastic.
Compliment Her
The first thing to say to your date is "you look beautiful" before you even ask how she is. Keep the compliments flowing throughout your date, such as "your hair looks nice, I like the colour of it, your eyes are very sparkly" etc.. But do not go overboard! A single woman loves to be complimented, feel sexy, gorgeous and beautiful. However, most important of all, she needs to feel you are attracted to her.
Listen to Her and Ask Questions
Nobody wants to spend the whole night listening to someone talk about themselves, or not listening to what the other person is saying. But you do have to get to know each other. Ask your date questions, but more importantly listen to what she has to say. There is nothing more that a single woman likes than when someone is interested in what they have to say.I remember once I was sitting in a restaurant waiting for some friends. There was a single man and single woman sitting at the table next to mine and I couldn’t help overhearing their conversation (rather him talking about himself). I could tell it was their first date from what he was telling her about himself. "I play Saturday league football, I like boxing".... He went on like this for about 10 minutes without stopping, or asking her questions. She was just sitting there nodding slightly every so often, and looking bored. That day left an impact on me, and every time I have been on a date since, I have been conscious of the woman, and took an interest in what she had to say. This is probably the best bit of advice I could give.
Prepare
The last thing you want is to be sitting having a meal and the conversation dries up, and you are left for the rest of the night bored with each other. Think about your date and what you would like to know about her, and in return what you would like her to know about you. Try and think of any questions that she might ask you, so that you can prepare the answer. You think that it is easy to talk, and that you will not run out of questions to ask, or that you will automatically have the answers. But until you are there, and in the situation, you have no idea what it will be like. You can avoid all of this by meeting for a quick drink, then go on to see a film, so at least you will have something to talk about.
Who Will Pay?
This is a really tough question, as now single women are more independent and like to pay their way. I suggest that you offer to pay and if she lets you, pay. If she wants to pay, you can argue that you want to at least pay for half the bill. If she offers to split again, you can argue (that is if you want to), but if she insists on splitting then let her pay half.
The Goodnight Kiss
Some single women prefer not to kiss after a date; others are disappointed if the single guy doesn't even try. There is no easy answer to this. The only answer I can come up with is; wait until either she makes the first move, or that you both know when you are ready. Watch out for body language and little touches, but I would not advise sex on the first date unless she wants to.
I'll Call You
Only tell her that you will call her if you mean it, and intend on dating her again. This is an awkward situation, and most of the time the easiest solution is, to take her number and tell her you will call her, but don’t if you are not interested. When saying good-bye just say, "It was nice meeting you" and wish her luck or you could just say good night, smile, and walk away. But if you do like her and are interested, then you have to let her know.
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Sunday, 11 November 2007
Top 10: Things To Never Ask Your Girlfriend
In school, we were taught that there is no such thing as a stupid question. That might hold true when figuring out the intricacies of algebra or history, but in a relationship, there are many, many stupid questions that can make your life miserable if asked. They may seem like innocuous, innocent queries to you, but in the complex mind of a female, these questions get twisted and analyzed until they are interpreted as mean-spirited missives slathered in deeper meaning and innuendo.You could fill your relationship with awkward silence and avoid asking any questions at all, but this invites a whole slew of other problems. Instead, we’ve assembled a list of the 10 most notoriously unacceptable questions to ask your significant other. Consider it a guide through a potentially deadly minefield, where the peril isn’t to life or limb, but to your happiness and sex life. Tread lightly.
1. What's for dinner?
This question was acceptable at one point in time -- a time when it was also “acceptable” to grab your secretary’s tush and call her “toots.” These days, it’s become a presumptuous, politically incorrect query that paints you as a backward, misogynistic jerk. Of course, you’re going to have to ask this question from time to time. But throwing on an apron and having dinner waiting for her when she gets home from work once in a while gives you the political capital to ask without fear of reprisal.
2. Can I borrow some money?
The very foundation of every male/female relationship is based on the man providing for the woman and making her feel secure. It once consisted of us bringing mammoth steaks back to the cave, but now it means providing a measure of financial securityAsking her to lend you money completely shatters her faith in you to provide this basic function. She will question your money sense, your fiscal responsibility, heck, even your manhood. Ask a buddy, take out a loan, get another job -- do anything but hit your girl up for cash.
3.How many guys have you slept with?
We all fantasize that our girls are pristine virgins untouched by other slimy male dogs. But we also know this probably isn’t the case. It’s natural to wonder just how many guys have had the pleasure of defiling your beautiful delicate flower, but unless you want to open a Costco-sized can of worms, you are going to have to just keep wondering.What's wrong with asking this question? First of all, it is none of your business; and secondly, you might not be happy with what you hear. Her answer could have far-reaching implications, tainting her in your eyes and really throwing a wrench into your future. As they say, curiosity killed the libido.
4. Are you wearing that?
Girls agonize over their outfits, taking great care in choosing every layer and accessory. So if she comes out of the bedroom for a night out and you pop off with this gem of a question, you are just inviting the mother of all battles.Odds are that she would probably love to just throw on a pair of jeans and her least wrinkled shirt, but females are held to a higher fashion standard than we are. On top of that, most guys are certainly not in a position to give fashion advice to anyone. If her clothes are really heinous, you can suggest switching plans to stay home for a quiet night in. Otherwise, bite your tongue, tell her she looks beautiful and plan secretly to ruin the offending outfit the next time you do laundry.
5. Don't you ever just want to start over somewhere new?
Occasionally, everyone gets caught in a Groundhog Day-esque rut and fantasizes about pulling up their roots and leaving it all behind. But vocalizing these dreams can leave her feeling hurt and very replaceable. It’s a perfectly understandable reaction to the question; she probably feels quite happy where she is and wouldn’t dream of leaving you.You are best to keep these escapist fantasies to yourself and focus on making your reality more tolerable. Take up a new hobby or book a vacation with your little honey bunny -- do whatever it takes. Because bringing up this taboo subject is going to do nothing to make your situation better. In fact, it will likely make it a whole lot worse.
6. Do you want to have a threesome?
Unless your girlfriend is a nymphomaniac or porn star (and few guys are that lucky), directly asking her to partake in this long-standing male fantasy is very, very dangerous. Her immediate reaction is most probably going to be negative, with the sting of jealousy bringing out a defensive and emotional response. She’ll self-consciously wonder why she alone isn’t enough to satisfy you, and her tolerance to your innocently wandering eye will all but disappear.We’ve already looked at ways to approach this risky but potentially very rewarding scenario, but, suffice it to say, straight out asking her for a threesome isn’t your best course of action.
7. Why don't you join the gym?
Whether they are size-zero waifs or triple-chinned monsters, all girls complain about their bodies. Popular culture and the fashion industry have brainwashed them to believe that they are too fat and riddled with cellulite. But when your girl is complaining about how out of shape she is or how her clothes don’t fit, tell her how wrong she is and offer only words of encouragement. Anything outside of this is a prospective time bomb waiting to explode, especially this seemingly practical suggestion. Remember, though: Practicality has very little providence when it comes to matters like this.
8. Did you c*m?
It’s pretty obvious when guys “finish up” during sex. Not so for most females. And with the popular consensus suggesting most girls end up faking their orgasms, there is a lot of uncertainty surrounding the feminine climax.This does not give you permission to ask her if she had one after you are finished. It puts her on the spot and brings into question her sincerity. It also puts a lot of pressure on her and can make what is supposed to be the most relaxed, enjoyable thing you do together an unpleasant event dependent wholly on her ability to climax, or your ability to make her do it.This is an important part of your relationship, so keep your lines of communication open. But be tactful and don’t come right out and ask.
9. Are you PMS-ing?
It’s natural to try to rationalize your gal’s irrational behaviour. But asking if this mythical monthly syndrome is causing it will succeed only in making her mood exponentially worse (even if it’s true).If you’re right, she is at the mercy of her hormones and can’t be held responsible for her reaction to your question (which will invariably be bad). If something else is to blame, discrediting whatever it is that is making her upset by lumping it under PMS will only prove two things: You know your acronyms, and you‘re a heartless bastard. Look for the real reason for her mood, and if you fail to find it, just keep your mouth shut and weather the storm.
10. Why do you have to be such a bitch?
It is amazing what can come out of your mouth in the heat of a fight. There are only a few things you can say to get you in real trouble, and asking her this rather pointed question is one of them. The answer you are expecting (that it is hardwired into her gender’s biology) isn’t coming. What will come instead is an all-new level of anger from your girl and an indeterminate extension of your fight.When you are fighting, keep a level head and watch what you say. Emotions can run high, but you still must be responsible for your actions. Choose your words wisely and defuse the situation.
bite your tongue
There is something to be said for the strong, silent type. Some think his brooding demeanour makes him mysterious and sensual, but in reality, he is just keeping his mouth shut to avoid some of the potholes we’ve covered here. Avoiding a lot of these queries is really just an exercise in common sense, but that isn’t the strongest quality in a lot of us. Use your judgment, keep your wits about you and watch out for these questions.
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In school, we were taught that there is no such thing as a stupid question. That might hold true when figuring out the intricacies of algebra or history, but in a relationship, there are many, many stupid questions that can make your life miserable if asked. They may seem like innocuous, innocent queries to you, but in the complex mind of a female, these questions get twisted and analyzed until they are interpreted as mean-spirited missives slathered in deeper meaning and innuendo.You could fill your relationship with awkward silence and avoid asking any questions at all, but this invites a whole slew of other problems. Instead, we’ve assembled a list of the 10 most notoriously unacceptable questions to ask your significant other. Consider it a guide through a potentially deadly minefield, where the peril isn’t to life or limb, but to your happiness and sex life. Tread lightly.
1. What's for dinner?
This question was acceptable at one point in time -- a time when it was also “acceptable” to grab your secretary’s tush and call her “toots.” These days, it’s become a presumptuous, politically incorrect query that paints you as a backward, misogynistic jerk. Of course, you’re going to have to ask this question from time to time. But throwing on an apron and having dinner waiting for her when she gets home from work once in a while gives you the political capital to ask without fear of reprisal.
2. Can I borrow some money?
The very foundation of every male/female relationship is based on the man providing for the woman and making her feel secure. It once consisted of us bringing mammoth steaks back to the cave, but now it means providing a measure of financial securityAsking her to lend you money completely shatters her faith in you to provide this basic function. She will question your money sense, your fiscal responsibility, heck, even your manhood. Ask a buddy, take out a loan, get another job -- do anything but hit your girl up for cash.
3.How many guys have you slept with?
We all fantasize that our girls are pristine virgins untouched by other slimy male dogs. But we also know this probably isn’t the case. It’s natural to wonder just how many guys have had the pleasure of defiling your beautiful delicate flower, but unless you want to open a Costco-sized can of worms, you are going to have to just keep wondering.What's wrong with asking this question? First of all, it is none of your business; and secondly, you might not be happy with what you hear. Her answer could have far-reaching implications, tainting her in your eyes and really throwing a wrench into your future. As they say, curiosity killed the libido.
4. Are you wearing that?
Girls agonize over their outfits, taking great care in choosing every layer and accessory. So if she comes out of the bedroom for a night out and you pop off with this gem of a question, you are just inviting the mother of all battles.Odds are that she would probably love to just throw on a pair of jeans and her least wrinkled shirt, but females are held to a higher fashion standard than we are. On top of that, most guys are certainly not in a position to give fashion advice to anyone. If her clothes are really heinous, you can suggest switching plans to stay home for a quiet night in. Otherwise, bite your tongue, tell her she looks beautiful and plan secretly to ruin the offending outfit the next time you do laundry.
5. Don't you ever just want to start over somewhere new?
Occasionally, everyone gets caught in a Groundhog Day-esque rut and fantasizes about pulling up their roots and leaving it all behind. But vocalizing these dreams can leave her feeling hurt and very replaceable. It’s a perfectly understandable reaction to the question; she probably feels quite happy where she is and wouldn’t dream of leaving you.You are best to keep these escapist fantasies to yourself and focus on making your reality more tolerable. Take up a new hobby or book a vacation with your little honey bunny -- do whatever it takes. Because bringing up this taboo subject is going to do nothing to make your situation better. In fact, it will likely make it a whole lot worse.
6. Do you want to have a threesome?
Unless your girlfriend is a nymphomaniac or porn star (and few guys are that lucky), directly asking her to partake in this long-standing male fantasy is very, very dangerous. Her immediate reaction is most probably going to be negative, with the sting of jealousy bringing out a defensive and emotional response. She’ll self-consciously wonder why she alone isn’t enough to satisfy you, and her tolerance to your innocently wandering eye will all but disappear.We’ve already looked at ways to approach this risky but potentially very rewarding scenario, but, suffice it to say, straight out asking her for a threesome isn’t your best course of action.
7. Why don't you join the gym?
Whether they are size-zero waifs or triple-chinned monsters, all girls complain about their bodies. Popular culture and the fashion industry have brainwashed them to believe that they are too fat and riddled with cellulite. But when your girl is complaining about how out of shape she is or how her clothes don’t fit, tell her how wrong she is and offer only words of encouragement. Anything outside of this is a prospective time bomb waiting to explode, especially this seemingly practical suggestion. Remember, though: Practicality has very little providence when it comes to matters like this.
8. Did you c*m?
It’s pretty obvious when guys “finish up” during sex. Not so for most females. And with the popular consensus suggesting most girls end up faking their orgasms, there is a lot of uncertainty surrounding the feminine climax.This does not give you permission to ask her if she had one after you are finished. It puts her on the spot and brings into question her sincerity. It also puts a lot of pressure on her and can make what is supposed to be the most relaxed, enjoyable thing you do together an unpleasant event dependent wholly on her ability to climax, or your ability to make her do it.This is an important part of your relationship, so keep your lines of communication open. But be tactful and don’t come right out and ask.
9. Are you PMS-ing?
It’s natural to try to rationalize your gal’s irrational behaviour. But asking if this mythical monthly syndrome is causing it will succeed only in making her mood exponentially worse (even if it’s true).If you’re right, she is at the mercy of her hormones and can’t be held responsible for her reaction to your question (which will invariably be bad). If something else is to blame, discrediting whatever it is that is making her upset by lumping it under PMS will only prove two things: You know your acronyms, and you‘re a heartless bastard. Look for the real reason for her mood, and if you fail to find it, just keep your mouth shut and weather the storm.
10. Why do you have to be such a bitch?
It is amazing what can come out of your mouth in the heat of a fight. There are only a few things you can say to get you in real trouble, and asking her this rather pointed question is one of them. The answer you are expecting (that it is hardwired into her gender’s biology) isn’t coming. What will come instead is an all-new level of anger from your girl and an indeterminate extension of your fight.When you are fighting, keep a level head and watch what you say. Emotions can run high, but you still must be responsible for your actions. Choose your words wisely and defuse the situation.
bite your tongue
There is something to be said for the strong, silent type. Some think his brooding demeanour makes him mysterious and sensual, but in reality, he is just keeping his mouth shut to avoid some of the potholes we’ve covered here. Avoiding a lot of these queries is really just an exercise in common sense, but that isn’t the strongest quality in a lot of us. Use your judgment, keep your wits about you and watch out for these questions.
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Saturday, 10 November 2007
Online Flirting – It Is Fun And A Great Way To Pass Your Time
The Internet has opened up vast horizons to people from all over the world to speak with each other, to date online, to flirt online. Online flirting can be extremely entertaining if nothing else. There are millions of people out there who are seeking companionship over the Net. These are people who are too busy for a regular date, too lazy to make the effort in person, or to shy.The Advantages Of Online Flirting
Online Flirting Can Be Fun - The first thing that you will say about online flirting is that it is a lot of fun. There is something so amusing in the fact that you can chat with anyone out there and flirt as much as you want. If it gets out of hand, you can always back off and that person will never hear of you again.Online flirting can end up in lasting relationships – often what starts as an online flirting can end up in wonderful relationships. There are many genuine people out there and it is very much possible to fall in love online and live happily ever after.Online flirting can be a great pastime. For those who only want entertainment, there is nothing better than online flirting.
You can get all the fun you want right in the comfort of your house. If you want, you can use a web camera and then take the light flirting to the next level – serious flirting – depending upon your mood.It is easy to make friends. People who are on the Net chatting are looking for friends and friendship. Hence, it is easy to make friends. The online dating and friendship websites normally offer you country wise chat rooms or regional chat rooms. Hence, you can befriend any type of people from wherever you want. There are many out there who choose friends from all over the world and in the meantime learn a good deal about their local customs and traditions.
Online flirting is a great way to start knowing how others see you. Side by side, it is a wonderful way to look at yourself. Sometimes, the feedback you get from the online chatting can be brutally truthful. If you are open to criticism, you can indeed learn a good deal from this exercise and come out a much-enriched person.Start on this journey today. You never know what destination you will reach. Whatever it may be, you are guaranteed to have a lot of fun on the way.
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The Internet has opened up vast horizons to people from all over the world to speak with each other, to date online, to flirt online. Online flirting can be extremely entertaining if nothing else. There are millions of people out there who are seeking companionship over the Net. These are people who are too busy for a regular date, too lazy to make the effort in person, or to shy.The Advantages Of Online Flirting
Online Flirting Can Be Fun - The first thing that you will say about online flirting is that it is a lot of fun. There is something so amusing in the fact that you can chat with anyone out there and flirt as much as you want. If it gets out of hand, you can always back off and that person will never hear of you again.Online flirting can end up in lasting relationships – often what starts as an online flirting can end up in wonderful relationships. There are many genuine people out there and it is very much possible to fall in love online and live happily ever after.Online flirting can be a great pastime. For those who only want entertainment, there is nothing better than online flirting.
You can get all the fun you want right in the comfort of your house. If you want, you can use a web camera and then take the light flirting to the next level – serious flirting – depending upon your mood.It is easy to make friends. People who are on the Net chatting are looking for friends and friendship. Hence, it is easy to make friends. The online dating and friendship websites normally offer you country wise chat rooms or regional chat rooms. Hence, you can befriend any type of people from wherever you want. There are many out there who choose friends from all over the world and in the meantime learn a good deal about their local customs and traditions.
Online flirting is a great way to start knowing how others see you. Side by side, it is a wonderful way to look at yourself. Sometimes, the feedback you get from the online chatting can be brutally truthful. If you are open to criticism, you can indeed learn a good deal from this exercise and come out a much-enriched person.Start on this journey today. You never know what destination you will reach. Whatever it may be, you are guaranteed to have a lot of fun on the way.
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Friday, 9 November 2007
The Best Dates We Ever Had
The best dates we have ever been on are the ones that were the most fun with the best single men or single women for company. They may not end in blinding love or marriage but they may have lived on with us because we enjoyed the dates so much. There was something memorable about them. Lots of dates are mundane, dull, meaningless repetition of standard question and answer sessions punctuated by some forced humor and and attempt to keep things genuine whilst knowing the moment you exit the cafe, you will never see that single men or single women again.
Personally I have traveled all over the country on dates and some have been truly awful and the odd one, spectacular.The best dates are the simplest, the least forced, the most natural. The best dates can happen with a complete single stranger out of nowhere, or are planned weeks in advance by making special plans to win your date's heart. I remember chatting with a single person on an Internet dating site on Saturday evening and within an hour of first chatting we had met for a drink. That Saturday evening date was tremendous fun, the single person fantastic company, 4 hours of laughter and great food.
We swapped life stories and details of the smallest things about our lives and for those briefest of hours everything was fabulous. Due to travel etc., we never met again but the point is that a perfect date can really be that unplanned. I think it's true that when we plan something too far in advance we can get carried away and build things up to much higher levels than is really justified. If I know we are going on a date three weeks on Saturday I will start planning, however much I try not to. What will I wear on the date, how will I wear my hair on the date, what will they be like on the date, will anything come of the date.
And so on. Before you know it, a simple date has turned into the planning of Glastonbury.In other words, simple spontaneous dates are the best. Formality too tends to wreck the best dates. Somewhere too formal doesn't allow both singles to relax and can be oppressive and stifling. The worry of getting everything right, ordering the correct dishes, selecting the right wine, even paying the check. Particularly the right clothes. A self assured dating partner will allow things to flow more smoothly and put you at your ease but the point is, the best dates involve somewhere far more relaxed.
It could be a diner an a walk in the park, a beach bar and a stroll on the beach. So always choose something where both singles can be comfortable, kick off their shoes and just chill.The best dates are ones that begin with few expectations and open into something much greater. A short date meeting over a coffee ends up being a day long passionate conversation. A lunch hour date one afternoon ends up taking over the whole day, even weekend. They are the best dates. Not expecting your date to be anything special and discovering that they are amazing, that is a good date too. Two singles who end up becoming a couple will always remember how they met and what they did so it is always important to put some thought into every date you go on.I think if you date continually for the sake of it then you will have some idea of your idea of a perfect date and how it would go.
Even if you haven't met any fabulous single men or single women lately you can still imagine what best dates should be like for you. There are a great many clichés surrounding dates, from sunsets over blue lagoons to romantic restaurants in Rome. They are things we can aspire to in our dating fantasies. But having great dates means being open minded, being open to new singles, new ideas and very good conversation. I often observe singles with their lists of questions that they reel off as they go through the motions on a first date and wonder why they get nowhere. My method always involves meeting and greeting my date like I have know them years. In this way I put myself and them at easy.
I love to talk so I always try and get us both to chat about anything and everything over a glass of wine. If it flows naturally then great, if it doesn't then its fine as I always set a mental time limit at first. My favorite best dates have always been with charming singles who are interesting and interested. They have always been brief dates the first time where I am dying to meet them again. They are instant adrenaline shots, they are eye opening dates that make me salivate with anticipation. I put some of that down to trying to date the kind of people I get along with but also being extremely receptive to new ideas.
Your best dates with differ from mine probably, but the point is, treasure best dates as excellent memories and experiences. You have met some great singles and you are going to meet a few more along the way before your dating is done.
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The best dates we have ever been on are the ones that were the most fun with the best single men or single women for company. They may not end in blinding love or marriage but they may have lived on with us because we enjoyed the dates so much. There was something memorable about them. Lots of dates are mundane, dull, meaningless repetition of standard question and answer sessions punctuated by some forced humor and and attempt to keep things genuine whilst knowing the moment you exit the cafe, you will never see that single men or single women again.
Personally I have traveled all over the country on dates and some have been truly awful and the odd one, spectacular.The best dates are the simplest, the least forced, the most natural. The best dates can happen with a complete single stranger out of nowhere, or are planned weeks in advance by making special plans to win your date's heart. I remember chatting with a single person on an Internet dating site on Saturday evening and within an hour of first chatting we had met for a drink. That Saturday evening date was tremendous fun, the single person fantastic company, 4 hours of laughter and great food.
We swapped life stories and details of the smallest things about our lives and for those briefest of hours everything was fabulous. Due to travel etc., we never met again but the point is that a perfect date can really be that unplanned. I think it's true that when we plan something too far in advance we can get carried away and build things up to much higher levels than is really justified. If I know we are going on a date three weeks on Saturday I will start planning, however much I try not to. What will I wear on the date, how will I wear my hair on the date, what will they be like on the date, will anything come of the date.
And so on. Before you know it, a simple date has turned into the planning of Glastonbury.In other words, simple spontaneous dates are the best. Formality too tends to wreck the best dates. Somewhere too formal doesn't allow both singles to relax and can be oppressive and stifling. The worry of getting everything right, ordering the correct dishes, selecting the right wine, even paying the check. Particularly the right clothes. A self assured dating partner will allow things to flow more smoothly and put you at your ease but the point is, the best dates involve somewhere far more relaxed.
It could be a diner an a walk in the park, a beach bar and a stroll on the beach. So always choose something where both singles can be comfortable, kick off their shoes and just chill.The best dates are ones that begin with few expectations and open into something much greater. A short date meeting over a coffee ends up being a day long passionate conversation. A lunch hour date one afternoon ends up taking over the whole day, even weekend. They are the best dates. Not expecting your date to be anything special and discovering that they are amazing, that is a good date too. Two singles who end up becoming a couple will always remember how they met and what they did so it is always important to put some thought into every date you go on.I think if you date continually for the sake of it then you will have some idea of your idea of a perfect date and how it would go.
Even if you haven't met any fabulous single men or single women lately you can still imagine what best dates should be like for you. There are a great many clichés surrounding dates, from sunsets over blue lagoons to romantic restaurants in Rome. They are things we can aspire to in our dating fantasies. But having great dates means being open minded, being open to new singles, new ideas and very good conversation. I often observe singles with their lists of questions that they reel off as they go through the motions on a first date and wonder why they get nowhere. My method always involves meeting and greeting my date like I have know them years. In this way I put myself and them at easy.
I love to talk so I always try and get us both to chat about anything and everything over a glass of wine. If it flows naturally then great, if it doesn't then its fine as I always set a mental time limit at first. My favorite best dates have always been with charming singles who are interesting and interested. They have always been brief dates the first time where I am dying to meet them again. They are instant adrenaline shots, they are eye opening dates that make me salivate with anticipation. I put some of that down to trying to date the kind of people I get along with but also being extremely receptive to new ideas.
Your best dates with differ from mine probably, but the point is, treasure best dates as excellent memories and experiences. You have met some great singles and you are going to meet a few more along the way before your dating is done.
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